A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my ex decided to get back together after two months apart. We had issues relating to his ex (and him maybe not being over her) that had spiralled out of control following one conversation at the start of our year and a half together. We decided a break up was best to figure things out. And he told me that he was going to get in touch with his ex to get closure or something he wasn't sure. So last week I got in touch with him and he came over and we talked through everything as openly and honestly as possible. He told me at the end of the night that all his feelings for me flooded in when he saw me, that he had been pushing them down so that he wouldn't feel the hurt. Then two days later I got a four page letter from him (a dyslexic who doesn't write more than a paragraph ever!). He was so scared to read the letter and he cried the whole time. He always wondered why I was insecure in the relationship he said and went on to say that he realised it was because he never opened up to me about how he really felt because he thought he would look weak. He's not a very emotional person at all. He basically said he lived me so much and wanted to marry me and have babies etc. And how sorry he was for not being like this with me before.So we got back together to give it another go. Relating back to the ex - he did get in touch with her. Just friendly texts, seeing if she wanted to meet for coffee. She asked him if he was recently single and just looking for a hookup. He said no but that he was single. She said she was still in a relationship and it was going great. Then he asked her for coffee again and she just told him she was always busy. The. About a week later - I get in touch with him to meet up. Etc and he tells me that she blew him off like above but he realised that he didn't actually care. He had no feelings for her.My question is: do you think I should believe him when it comes to her? He told me once at the start of our relationship that she was the one that got away until he met me. I have a hard time trusting anybody by the way
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female
reader, Destiny28  +, writes (2 August 2014):
Hi there, I must say, I don't have a relationship with a guy if the ex is still in the picture. It's called and Ex for a reason. He is still holding onto her on some levels and he is not giving himself all to you. Secondly, your guy is telling you that something is not right, hence why you are writing for advise! Trust your guts! I had a similar situation when I was younger and learned the hard way! Since then, I never go with any guy if the ex is in the picture. He wants the whole cake and eat it too. Good luck
A
female
reader, Destiny28 +, writes (1 August 2014):
Hi there, I must say, I don't have a relationship with a guy if the ex is still in the picture. It's called and Ex for a reason. He is still holding onto her on some levels and he is not giving himself all to you. Secondly, your guy is telling you that something is not right. Trust your guts! I had a similar situation when I was younger and learned the hard way! Since then, I never go with any guy if the ex is in the picture. He wants the whole cake and eat it too. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): Why did you get back together, if you don't trust him? How can you have a healthy relationship with anyone, if you have trust issues?
You have to introspect, and ask yourself why you took him back? You don't believe he's over her, although you also know that she's in a successful relationship. There is no threat.
If you have trust issues, who would you believe? You've gone so far as to restart your relationship with him. If you still have to worry, maybe you took him back for all the wrong reasons.
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