A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hello all, hopefully someone will help me. I have been dating this girl for about 2 months now. At first we stayed talking on the phone for like 5 hours a night, and now it is 15 minutes here 45 there. She never wants to talk on the phone to me while she is around her parents.Or will not talk to me or introduce me to her son. I asked why on the son and she said it will cause problems with the ex, which I do understand. Be mindfull that she is in her late 30s. There is a lot going on in her life right now, that will be keeping her busy until the begeaning of July. She used to sign her texts and emails with x's and o's, but she does not do that anymore. Should I be worried it is over, or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (24 June 2009):
Talk to her about how you're feeling or else you will never know where you stand, the key to a successful relationship is communication! X
A
female
reader, advicegem +, writes (24 June 2009):
It sounds like there are two possibilities.
First, she's "just not that into you", and considering you have only been dating for about 2 months, I would say you should let that one go... problems this early on usually lead to more problems.
Or, she feels things were moving too fast. 5 hours of conversation a night is a hell of a lot for a new relationship and with her having a son, she probably doesn't want to get that serious that quickly.
Also, do you know if she has had previous relationships since splitting up with her ex? This could be a lot to do with it, and of course she does have to take into account her ex and her son now in all future dating decisions. To be fair to her, only pursue this if you are absolutely willing to deal with those conditions and make sure you won't act jealous when the ex is around (which I hope he will be frequently, if only to pick up his son).
I would scale things back a little, and let her know how you feel and that you are willing to go at whatever pace is best for introducing you to her son. He will always be number one to her.
Good luck... as long as you are honest with her, and willing to work around this, it could be really good and you'll not only have a loving relationship with this girl, but with her son, too.
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