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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 21 year old female who has just moved in with a man of 35. I love him a great deal and we have spoken about marriage and children. He is divorced and i accidentally saw his wedding pictures which were hidden away. I have started to suspect that he is trying to keep the pictures from me and have evidence that hes been looking at them. He denies this but i know he is lying to me. Why does he look at these pitctures, i am in his life now, should i be worried?
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (26 July 2006):
 It is possible that a bit of nostalgia has come over him, not for his ex, but the day itself. It is just a part of his family history, and - probably as the idea of impending marriage to you and his feelings for you which have now exceeded those for his ex. Could be that he is wondering what he ever saw in his ex, how it all went so wrong, and how he is not going to make the same mistakes this time round! He loves YOU now, they are just about a chapter in his life which just make up part of his life's history. Perhaps, you can, maybe not just yet, bring yourself to ask him to show you the album, you can sit with him and whilst looking (DO resist the urge to say she looks fat in that dress - or other such derogatory remarks!) make a few suggestions for your own wedding, and listen to his remarks about the day, and what Auntie Maude got up to, etc! He will appreciate your maturity, and see a new quality in the wonderful girl he loves and has chosen to live the rest of his life with - YOU! Be happy, chick!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006): Once apon a time that day would have probably been the happiest day of his life, perhaps that is why he is looking back on them?
As long as he isn't doing it all the time, and it was more of a one-off, I don't think you have any thing to worry about. With him being 14 years older than you, he obviously has a lot more history and baggage, and you are going to have to take that in to consideration. If he seems dedicated and faithful to you, then do not let something like this bother you. Try to talk to him more about this, but whilst understanding he has done nothing wrong by having these pictures of indeed looking at them from time to time. I think that perhaps he is denying looking at the photos because you seem upset or bothered by it. Show instead that you understand. Hopefully then he can give you some reassurance by explaining you are his future and thus you have no need to feel threatened by his photos. Good luck!
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