A
female
age
30-35,
*ucy.whittaker
writes:Hi All,Okay, well this guy Matt is amazing, he's kind and honest and passionate. I really feel alot for him, but there are alot of things holding me back. He is 5 years older than me (23 and i'm 18), lives in London and I have just moved to Uni in Wales and I think that if my ex ever saw us together he'd kill him because I cheated on him with this guy (My ex and I are at the same uni and I see him all the time). I really like him and he's given me loads of chances and has done loads of amazing things for me (like when I had a bit of a breakdown he drove 6 hours to see me and look after me) but I'm scared of being in a relationship with him because it's so far and I don't think I'm mature enough to be with him. In my panic I got into a slightly rushed relationship with Josh who is really nice, but who I'm not 100% about yet. We could be really good but I could also be happy without him. I just don't know what to do about Matt because I want to be with him but I don't think I'm ready for it. Do I stay with Josh and try and move on, or wait until I feel ready to be with Matt, or just see if I can really fall for Josh and make it about him? Or do I try and be with Matt and be strong enough to make a 300 mile distance relationship work? I'm a very intimate person and I need closeness to be happy. Should I try and be with him or try and make Josh and I work, which realistically could because he's a good, kind person who will look after me and I think is falling for me.The story behind the cheating thing is a long one, so I won't explain it now, but there are reasons behind it and if anyone wants to know the story just ask and I'll explain. But please don't think I'm a bad person because of what happened then. It's just because I still get pangs of guilt whenever I'm with him and I don't know what I can do about it if we were to get together...Please helpLucy xxxx(I did change names and stuff but yeah)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, fullvee  +, writes (4 January 2010):
If you are at all unsure about any relationship with guy one about distance and age, or guy too for rushing it, you need to take a break and find out who YOU are dearie, and what kind of guy YOU want, not what kind of guy comes along. Take a man-sabbatacal, and figure out yourself for a semester...
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