A
male
age
36-40,
*owercaseq
writes:I was seeing a girl for a while. she became my best friend also very close relationship . she gave me the friend talk for those that have been following . I bought her a tiffany co bracelet with alot of charms for other things and special occasions. the bracelet is about 1500 dollars in value . some are custom engraved. and before she left to go back to college I purchased a kindle (electronic book for those who dont know . like a nook ) top of the line . around 300 ish . took her on cruises and trips then I find out a week ago she had been seeing 2 other guys for months . especially before the cruise. its all coming out . I remain good friends somehow .. I want my stuff back . she says ok.. but then drops it . I am flying to california to see her next weekend to hang out . she knows i know she has a boyfriend. she pulls the whole . i wanted to date other people you knew it . I have a boyfriend now . ect. she wants me to meet her new boyfriend . I have the ability to really ruin her life. But there is still feelings there. I do love her. people make mistakes . maybe down the road shell know she messed up . she is or was my best friend . its comlicated. do I tell her new boyfriend about her past sex life and give him retroactive jealousy ? tell him some deep stuff about her past at dinner? I am coming home with my stuff . somehow !. anyone please give me ideas. . do i do this nice. or the hard way ? p.s . lol. ladies. im single ! and obviously love to spend money on them . ..what would you expect if it was you too ? I treated her like a queen . never yelled took all her bull and yelling and her temper tantrums. I was good. any advice from anyone?
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best friend, has a boyfriend, her past, jealous, money, sex life, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lowercaseq +, writes (13 August 2010):
lowercaseq is verified as being by the original poster of the question 2 year relationship . im not hateful . im actually happy for her.nothing I can change about the past . I didnt buy her love. I bought her the bracelet for christmas. a nice charm for valentines day . and one for going through her first year in college. we had talked about getting married and everything . just things went downhill . I dont like burning bridges
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Woah first of all, grow up dude be the bigger man here and don't just try to hurt her and this guy in the process. It won't work out and it will only make you look like a douche canoe.
Now I am going to guess that this was a pretty one sided relationship huh, you worshiped her and bought her all kinds of nice sparkly things because you thought it would make her see how much you liked her and how she should be with you right? She used you and then left you and now you're really hurt. It was probably a pretty short and fast relationship too huh? You let her walk on you and use you and she knew it. I have many guy friends just like you and it breaks my heart to see guys get treated this way when they just want to be loved as much as they give love. Is any of this sounding familiar? You have to start standing up for yourself with these girls, when they treat you like crap call them on it don't just keep taking it. And you can't buy love, no amount of jewelry or trips will make a girl love you and you shouldn't have to spend money on a girl to get her to like you anyway. I bet you are a very nice and sweet guy who has had his heart broken many times.
My advice is to leave this whole situation and this girl alone. I am sorry to say she probably won't give you back your stuff, it's a hard lesson you just have to learn. Cut your loses financially and emotionally and just end this whole thing. You obviously are still really hurt by this whole thing so trying to be friend is going to be very difficult especially because she has a new boyfriend and doesn't seem bothered by the pain and trauma she caused you at all. I wouldn't waste my time or money to go and see her either if she's just going to be pushing her new boyfriend in your face. Does that sound pleasant to you? I know if it was me it would be even more painful having to see the person I am still in love with making out with some other person right in front of me.
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A
female
reader, JennyBuckwell  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 ummmm if she was your best friend and you claim to still care about this girl then of course you should not try and sabotage her relationship now. Sounds as if you are extremely jealous that this girl has moved on and is seeing someone else by the pettiness of what you are suggesting. As for the gifts, once given it is not right to ask for them back, that too is simply being petty. I suggest instead of focusing your energy on how to ruin this girl's life you focus it on someone else who will appreciate what a good boyfriend you are.
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