A
male
age
30-35,
*sc823
writes:Im kinda worried, if you have read my other posts you will understand my situation (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/where-do-i-go-from-hre.html). If not here is a simple rundown. I'm bi, I like a guy, I think he likes me, I mean I'm almost positive, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I am stuck in a jealous phase. He is in the same class as my sister, and they went on a class trip over the past week. When she got home she told me about her trip. Some things kind of worried me. First of all she told me that he hung around her the entire time, that if he went with his guy friends they would bring him back to her a little later saying that he was being "annoying" (I don't really know what annoying means). I think that some of it has to do with the fact that she is the only one who gives him any kind of respect, hes very shy and doesn't really have many friends, so I hope he just sees her as a good friend. One thing that makes me feel a little better is that she said that one of their other friends, who is a guy and REALLY likes my sister, was afraid of going on a roller coaster, and the guy I like said, "Why don't you kiss him, then maybe he would come". I know for a fact that if I liked a guy/girl that I wouldn't suggest that he kiss another person. I'm just confused. She said that later he was talking to her and asked her if she was going to come to any of his football games and she said yes, then he said that he needs to come to one of her basketball games, but then he corrected himself and said he should come to more of them or all. I'm just scared, and jealous. I feel like me and this guy really are growing closer together and that we could have a relationship. I mean when we are together he will always smile at me, put his arm around me, tell me he loves me, hug me etc... I feel like I haven't been loving enough back and that I'm driving him away. While he has been being a lot more physical with me, I have been kinda backing off b/c I don't want to scare him away. I just love him so much that I can't stand the thought of losing him. I mean, this is awful and I know I'm a terrible person, but I thought more about him and missed him more than my sister while they were gone. Even though we don't get to spend much time together I know where he is at all times pretty much and I feel safe knowing he is safe.
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Hi
Ok I get the full picture here now. Why dont you speak to your sister. Ask her how she feels about this guy, if she has feelings for him then I would say not to go there. But if she seems not to bothered about him, then all you can do is ask this guy. But be prepared for a knock back too, as this guy may not be into guys . He could just be thinking your a good person and likes to hang out with you sometimes. There are many guys who seem to be gay or bi because of the way they can be more sensitive than other guys, but this dont mean he would want to have a relationship with another guy. You might be more attracted to him because he is a mystery to you right now,you know the forbidden fruit so to speak, but the only way your going to find this out is by asking him how he feels. But I would speak to your sister first, she also may have hidden feelings for him, and would i hate for you both to fall out over this. Keep strong and keep busy, because being too emotionaly attached to this guy before you know anything will only make you stressed and ill.
I hope this has helped
A
male
reader, usc823 +, writes (15 May 2011):
usc823 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think that y'all understand perfectly well, and that probably is my fault, but this guy is not dating my sister and they are not best friends. They are in the same class together and hang out occasionally at school, but they are far from dating. He's kinda socially awkward so he doesn't have many friends and my sister is nice to him so they talk some. She sees him more than I do. He has known me longer than her and the only way he knows her and ever talked to her in the first place is because of me. And they don't hang out together outside of school (except this trip which was a school activity), they just have some classes together and occasionally talk. I hang out with him outside of school plenty.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (15 May 2011):
Hi
DONT even go there..... even if this guy does have feelings towards you, he is your sisters BF and that is a line you should never cross. Just because his playful with you, and says I love you does not suggest he is gay and hiding it, its probally because he see's you as a brother because he is dating your sister. Also he probally said kiss the guy to your sister, because she was showing that she cared for this other guy,about his fear, so he was lik " why dont you kiss him then he might go on it" he was being sarcastic. Either way if you try to come between him and your sister it would be a recipe for disaster, and it could end your relationship with your sister, and cause many family problems. Why dont you go out more, meet some other guys who may interest you, guys who CAN date you too. keep yourself busy, as sometimes we can not always have what we want in life unless we hurt the ones we love on the way, is that what you want??
I hope this has helped
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A
female
reader, eiwl_4ever +, writes (15 May 2011):
I've been in the same situation you are in. First of all If you know the guy likes you then go for it. Don't keep him waiting but don't rush it either.
Two: he might be doing that on purpose to see how you react. He knows she's your sister so he knows what ever happened on that trip she would tell you. Now, she's your sister if she knows that you like him a lot she won't go near him.
Three: You have to ask yourself do you really want to be in a relationship with a guy that may like your sister? You might get resentful towards your sister even if she doesn't pay no mind to him and I'm pretty sure you don't want that to happen.
I suggest that you talk to him. It can be awkward and very scary to do but it's worth the shot.
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