A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I met online. At the time she had a boyfriend in real life and we were just talking as friends. About a week after she dumped her boyfriend, we both admitted having feelings for each other. We met this last winter and say we love each other very much. Now shes back in Cali going to college and Im in Neb in college so we cant move together though we want too. Now about a year after we met she's started talking to this other guy. Just as friends. Thing is she told me that he said she had a 'hot ass' and 'big boobs'...yea. Didn't make me happy. Told her that if she met a guy like that in real life she would slap him and walk off but for some reason this guy is 'nice and sweet'. Well about a week ago I sort of read her emails. I know, very wrong on my part but its the fact that we are apart from each other I'm worried. Emails from him contains major flirts about her while her replies seem to ignore the flirts she is very kind and sweet to him and some nights when her and I say goodnight I found out that her and him keep talking to the late night. I know I should come clean about reading their messages but right now I feel like it would distance us. Should I be jealous here? I trust her but I don't like her talking to him. I have told her that but she just says he is being nice. How should I respond? Should I just be happy she has a 'friend' or do I have reason to ask her to stop talking to this guy?Thank you for any advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): Long distance relationships are hard. You kinda of just have to ignore everything and hope for the best in the end. Being jealous isn't going to stop anything that might be going on in Cali. You just have to ignore your insecure thoughts, be trusting, and truck along. If in the end it doesn't work out, then thats life!
A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 I don't think shes doing anything wrong, she doesn't flirt back just ignores his flirting but I do feel she could have asked him to calm the flirting down as they're just friends but she hasn't, although flirting never hurt anyone especially if its just harmless and both people know that, he could just be that kind of bloke, some people are just natural flirters and he could be like it with every girl.
Has she lead you to believe when you both say goodnight that shes going to bed and make out that she did go to bed afterwards?
I'm not really that surprised you're concerned, I think anyone would be especially after the way you two met and got together, you was the other bloke while she had a boyfriend so that would automatically put your back up.
I don't think I would confess to having read her messages, you really shouldn't have done that, especially not behind her back so for now I would keep that one to yourself but I would speak to her about how you're feeling and tell her that this friendship is making you feel the way it does.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): Firstly, just because your' girlfriend left her ex to be with you doesn't mean she'll do it again to you and secondly reading her emails is quite an invasion of privacy, she's been honest with you about what he tells her, you should trust her fully as i'm sure she's not doing it to make you jealous in anyway, I hope this has helped, if you need more help let me know.
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