A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I got together in 2005 and honestly i had just broke up with a guy who had cheated on me and obviously was looking out for myself when i snooped. I know it’s wrong but I had to. I found a couple texts between him and his then best friend (a girl) who was asking him to take a trip with her just the two of them and surprisingly he agreed so i confronted him and we had a huge fight. It turns out they shared a kiss before me but they decided to be friends yet she kept sending him sentimental valentine's day/birthday cards and flirting with him. I was mad so i told him to choose who he wanted to be with and he chose me. 4 years later after not snooping for a while my heart told me to and i just found a text from another girl (i don't know whether she is a friend or not but he has never mentioned her)which read as follows...''Hey u Wasup, how's it goin. Called u ystday, just wanted to hear u voice, was back at work wen u called back and I finished at 10pm so didn't want to wake u up. Anyway u can text bak if u can if not I'll Spk to u later.'' I am curious because she is abroad and he just came back from a visit from that country on 26/09/09 and he has been calling her frequently (a day or two apart at least – 30/09/09, 01/10/09 and 06/10/09). He texts her frequently too ( the other text were just saying call back). My problem is the text says i just wanted to hear your voice (she must mean something for him to say that cause he has never said that to me throughout the 5yrs we have been together- not that i recall anyway) and also he is lying to her when he texted that he finished work at 10pm (he always finishes at 9pm and is always home by 9:10pm which makes me wonder). Moreover the text was sent at 5:22am at which point he is normally asleep unless he has to go somewhere very important. I found the text on 05/10/09 and have not confronted him yet but on Wednesday 07/10/09 we had a fight over something silly and i think the text influenced my anger (i did not mention it) but i called him a liar and i locked him out the house and insisted that he gives me the car keys his wallet and his two phones. Unfortunately i could not find the other phone (which i got the text from) and after an hour or two of fighting i found it in the longue ( and i swear on my life it was not there before); I picked it up when he left the room and went through it to see if he had been texting her again and to my surprise it had all the messages erased and ever since then i looked for it in the house where i know he is most likely to leave it lying around but i could not find it. I did not look in the car where I suppose he could have left it but am telling you it is no coincidence. So am I being paranoid here or is he acting guilty (cause he doesn’t even know why am mad, he doesn’t know that i saw the text either- my plan was to say nothing and just observe the texts between them until i got something more concrete). Please advise, am heartbroken but am not sure if i should be. Thanks in advance!
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am I being paranoid, at work, best friend, broke up, cheated on me, flirt, heartbroken, liar, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): Mmm, You're getting some serious payback karma from snooping. Its clearly made you paranoid, you're over-analyzing every word in the msgs. Yeh, he could be guilty of cheating, but no offence, snooping is right up there with cheating in my book. Both are massive destroyers of trust.
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