A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so last year around April I met this guy named lets call him Jonny. He is 29(I know, I know...)he is attractive, down to earth, sweet, romantic, hard working, real ect ect. We texted for awhile right and then decided to hangout one day. So he picked me up at his house and we were going out to Kananaskis Country because I told him I love the mountains and the stars so we were going to go star gazing. So... ...we get there and were talking ect ect. And he pulls out this heart shaped card and its a poem he wrote because I told him I loved poetry and its my passion well no guy ever has done that. He also brought Champain and glasses and we had afew drinks and cuddled under the stars. Ok and he took me home. Now Jonny was married he has a 5yr old daughter right. And him and his ex had been split up......for awhile now so I was okay with this. We kept texting ect and decided to hangout again. Well he told me his favorite type of cookies were peanut butter so I baked him some and did the same heart card thing exept mine was a letter. Saying how much of a sweetie he was and that the fact that he has a daughter is cool ect ect. So we go to the same spot I give it to him and hes all happy he said.....some stuff to me and we had a great night. Then he was told he was being sent to Edmonton for work well this broke my heart right, and his ex told him she was pregnet with his child well he was confused right? So hes like well my ex and I have been talking and we are thinkin so im balling my face off right but hes like I still wanna hangout and go camping. So we did and I layed there and said.. ..Jonny look at me and tell me you dont care about me and want to be with me. Hes like Kc of course I do, you know I adore you. And then that night ended I was suppose to see him before he left to Edmonton but that didnt happen. We talked and texted ect ect right. He was suppose to be in Edmonton for 2yrs. We talked for a month and he called me one night while he was in Edmonton... ...(and he never called me I always called him)and he said I miss you, I wanna see you ect ect. And so anyways a week later he calls me and says he guess where I am? I was like I dunno? Hes like downtown im like cool? Hes like no in Calgary! I was like omgomgomg so we hungout and shit ect ect. And then I was at this time head over heels for this guy right. I was going to Ottawa and before I left.. ..I left him voicemails telling him how I really felt that I loved him and that this wasnt a joke. This was real. And that I know he felt something too because he had said so. So I come back and we talked and hungout ect ect. Then I find out hes going to BC to work. Well I talked to him once and then I havent talked to him since September. I was texting his phone for 5months and his buddy... ...apparently had his cell phone telling me he was in jail and all this bullshit right. So anyway im texting his phone one last time this was.... Thursday last week and he texts me back and tells me to call him im like :D:D:D:D:D:D:D x-billion!!! right. And so he tells me he wasnt in jail a bunch of shit was going on and he had to hide out because of this shit that went on. I cant tell you .. ...its not something I can tell anyone but he got rid of all that shit and came home. And so the next day im like we need to hangout and hes like for sure I just wanna let you know I have been talking with my ex and were gonna try getting back together im movin in with her and were tryin it for the kid right. I was mature about it and actually happy for him right because im like sweet we... ...can still talk and text and hangout right. And all was good we text all the time and talk on the phone and were actually hanging out this Friday I belive? And ya but I can tell in the texts he misses me...him and the woman are fighting some terrible right now off and on. One minute she loves him the next she hates him. This man means the world to me and I am in love with him. This isnt puppy love its true love. I want him so much and I know he has feelings for me...but should I respect this and move on with my life and be happy with our friendship or fight for him but respect the kid/ex thing? I am so confused someone give me some advice.
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female
reader, Lori420  +, writes (9 February 2010):
It seems like he adores you but there isnt much time for you either? He also seems to still love his ex if he is willing to make it work with her. Maybe just for the kids sake but also because he loves her otherwise he would be satisfied with just being the babies father only. Since hes trying with his ex that shows that he just wants to be friends and you should respect that but its tough. You want something different but that show only show you that its time to move on and if it does fail with them you need to play hard to get because you were kind of abandoned emotionally. Otherwise if you jump into it with him then all what you feel will go unnoticed. Thats just my advice...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Ditch him as a lover, in your mind, and everywhere else. Until he has completely moved on from working on having a love relationship with his ex, he is still with her in his mind and heart, and noone else. It's not his fault, because children motivate parents to work things out, so they can ultimately be there for them. It's only right morally, and for the child, to wait until he has wholeheartedly decided to permanently leave her. As a dad, I know first hand how confusing that is, especially if there is massive daily tension in the relationship with the mother. The mother makes it impossible to stay, but it's not an option to leave, you tell yourself, and leave your child with the mother, with all her issues and madness. It's best not to have anything but a friendship with him, unless he's left her for good. Too many fathers also use this situation with their ex and child, to have sex and affairs, pretending they've split temporarily from their ex, essentially using whomever for a good time that their ex won't give them. That's blatant cheating, and if they were married, he should simply divorce her first, then look for a good time with someone else.
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