A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiancee and I have been together for 6 years. We met online in 2003 and I moved in with her in 2005. We have an 18month old baby. Recently, in the past 6 months, she has been having stress related health issues. Whenever she becomes overly stressed, her body just shuts down. She sometimes has a seizure, other times she just feels really sick. She's been put on a couple of antianxiety meds and is going to counseling, but has expressed her feeling that she doesnt really believe talking can ever really help her problems.Anyway, to do my part, I've tried to keep the stress off of her. I do most of the chores and such, even with my 40 hour per week job. I've been doing ok for a while, but things are not seeming to get any better and I'm starting to feel hopeless that they ever will. I want to spend time with my son, but I'm just so tired all the time. I feel bad when I'm not out playing with him, but when I do just try to spend some time with him, it never.. it just doesnt bring me joy like it ought to.I've tried talking to my fiancee about it, but she just gets stressed out and shuts down a lot of the time. I'm just feeling like this is where my life will be forever, and I don't know how to make it any better. I just keep saying to myself, I just need to be a little stronger, for my family.As for sex, well, she's recently told me that she doesn't really have much of a libido at all anymore, but is willing to have sex to make me happy. I still have somewhat of a libido but mostly I've always concentrated on making her happy in bed, and I'm just too afraid to tell her.Well, that's about the long and short of it. I'm guessing I need to just suck it up, there are plenty of people worse off than me.I guess I should actually ask a question so that people will know what to respond to. Well, here it is:Should I be doing something different? Or do I need to just need to keep doing what I'm doing and hope it will get better?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 first of all i must commend u for being a top husband and father!
not a lot of men could have coped having an ill wife along with working and coping with a child, so i must say u r a very good man!
in this situation i think it'd be good if u open up and talk to her about ur feelings. i know she is stressed out and doesnt like to talk, but it isnt healthy if u bottle things up and the relations becomes all 1 sided, this isnt fair.
if she doesnt want to talk, then write her a letter and leave it there for her to read. if she truly loves u she will make an effort to make things a bit better on her part.
have u tried reducing ur work hours so u cud spend a little more time with ur son? this will reduce the stress for u too becoz little ones can really boost ur energy!
try the tips i give, and maybe things will get better.
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