A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together two years. We started living together about 5 months ago and since then, his sex drive seems to have diminished. He was one of these "sex last thing at night, sex first thing in the morning" type of guys, so generally we'd have sex twice a day, usually once, rarely not at all.When we first got together, we'd only see each other every month or 6 weeks for a few days. That went on for about 5 months.He then moved locally to me to live with his sister, we'd see each other for a few days a week but during which time we'd never really get time alone until we went to bed at night.He then moved away again and we went back to only seeing each other every few weeks.After that, I used to go visit him at his Dad's every couple of weeks and we'd just lay in bed all day watching movies and stuff.Now we're living together, 99% of our days are fairly busy, as we don't drive we have to walk from our home into town to get shopping, run errands etc., which is a 2 or 3 mile walk there and then back again.I've asked him about his loss of interest in sex and he says it's just because he's happy and doesn't feel the need to have sex all the time like he used to when a) time together was precious, b) we were lying in bed cuddling all day.He also says he's just not the horny under-sexed teenager he used to be (I was his first).He seems to still find me attractive, he still gives my bum a squeeze when I walk by and cuddles me close and tells me I'm beautiful and all of that stuff..I'm just wondering whether I should be concerned by his drop in sex drive? When we were friends before we got together he was a terrible flirt, always making innuendo, seemed to be healthily very interested in sex, so it's not like he naturally has a low sex drive..It's also worth noting that for the majority of the time before we lived together he was depressed and very unmotivated. Seems odd that for this guy it seems Depressed and No Motivation = Horny and Squirmy all the time!! Happy and Doing Well in Life = Just wants to cuddle and kiss.Could it be because he's matured and because he's happier that he doesn't feel the need to have sex all the time? He's also mentioned that it may be to do with the fact that before we had to make the most of each other and cram everything in before we'd be seperated for weeks again..Any thoughts/advice welcome!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): This is very common. That when you move in/ marry your partner sex life becomes less. Largely because you're not in that 'honeymoon' stage anymore of the relationship when it's all about the passion! You need to try and spend more quality time together - go out to dinner, take time out from your busy lives to just enjoy each other's company. You need to spice up your sex life, try new things keep it fresh and interesting. Itwon't be as much as it used to but having sex in a relationship is important. Just tell your man how you feel, that you want more time with him and both of you set soem time each day to just be with eachother. It will strengthen your relationship and sex life - Trust me!
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