A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so i have a problem. i have never been in a real relation ship, so i do not know how to handle this. There is a guy i have know since i was eight and he was twelve. i loved him from that moment on. im twenty now and he is mine and my brothers best friend. He is very sweet and caring but he has fallen on hard times. he has no job and no girlfriend. he gets drunk all the time and smoke pounds of pot a week. i use to be just like that but i saved myself. i want to help him. I know i cant have him not because he doesnt want me but because i am too smart to get my self in a relationship with someone who needs more mothering then anything else. unfortunatly he needs someone who has been where he is now and gotten out. i just feel like if i get too involved he will defeat my iron gate that i put around my heart. I dont know how i should go about doing this, if he straightened i could totally get involved romantically but he would probably find someone else. should i put myself through all this heart ach just to possibly save my lifelong friend? or just let him spiral down to a unhappy existence to protect myself... theres alot of extra issues surrounding it involving my big brother too... i have never felt this torn
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 April 2009):
 Who saved you? You say yourself.
Okay, so who can save him?
Could you have been saved from this life by someone else?
Be honest and you know the answer.
To give up drugs and straighten out your life really requires your own effort. Others can lend a helping hand on the road to recovery but nothing more. If he ain't doing it himself, then you won't be able to get him started.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): You are not going to straighten this guy out he has to want to do it himself. I smoked and drank for 15 years and no one or nothing could stop me until I wanted it for myself and I did and now I do neither. Until he is ready to live again I would suggest you just remain friends and that you look out for yourself because as smart as we all think we are it can be very easy to slip back into drink and drugs.
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