A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I ask out my doctor? I have a terrible crush on my orthopedist. Been seeing him for 6 months and just had my last appointment with him. He is supposed to call me next week with some follow up information... so I'm wondering if I should make a move of some kind? He has been very flirty while remaining professional, we clicked instantly etc. Definite chemistry. But he was my doc, and is 20 years older than me (I'm 34). I generally date older men but he doesn't know that. We are both single. Thoughts? I don't want to make a complete a*s of myself.
View related questions:
crush, flirt, older men Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): To all women who have or are currently or who will fall in love with a doctor who treats you for something. Should you ask them out? Go ahead and take this advise seriously from someone who has been there and DO NOT DO IT. All of them must be able to relate to people very well that is part of their job of course so all these post I'm reading about the connection they felt with their doctor and the chemistry that was there, it's just apart of them getting along with people they treat. I to fell madly in love with my surgeon who treated me for a broken arm 2 summers ago. The chemistry between us was electrifying, (I Thought) his touch OMG I could have died right there in his arms, I have never felt the warmth and tenderness from any man like that before. I swear he released apart of his soul into me, he even had a little nickname for me and I thought he was flirting a few times as well and prolly was a little but it's not what you think or want it to be. I was a patient of his for 4 months and a couple of months after I was released from his care I sent him a thank you card with a note inside telling him how I felt and of course giving him a way to contact me. A month went by and I did not hear anything but ended up calling the doctors office for something els I needed and I got to speak with him. He did not bring up the card of course so at the end of the conversation I brought it up, I asked him if he got it and his response just totally crushed me, he did not act with me on the phone they way he did with me in the clinic which I did not understand even if he has to turn me down he did not have to change his personality towards me???? But he said he was flattered but he could not do anything about that and had to keep our relationship professional and I let him know that I understood. He seemed uncomfortable and in a hurry to end the phone call after that so I just let it go. I was so hurt and shocked, feeling confused I just did not understand the whole thing because even if those type of feelings were not mutual on his part I still did not get the way he acted towards me because I know he liked me when I was patient. So ladies don't go for it you will end up just like the others say looking and feeling like a fool and embarrassed. I tried to scrape up what was left of my pride off the floor that night and a year later still trying to recover from it because I still think and fantasize about him everyday, wanting him with every fiber of my being, it does not go away. My advise is if your a woman get female doctors so this sort of thing does not happen and thats what I've done ever since.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): Do not ask him out. It's easy to have a crush on a medical professional, because they are trained in communication and are caring folks.
However, it's always going to end up with the patient (crusher) looking like a fool.
It's tough, but if you really want to ask a guy out--ask some one who is able to date you legally. LOL
...............................
A
female
reader, openfx +, writes (11 August 2009):
Isn’t the AMA great? Looking out for your best interests and all - Its true doctors are not allowed to date their patients past or present. I have a crush on my former doctor. To complicate things, I am married and so is he. I would never cheat and didn’t even think it was possible for me to develop feelings for another man until I met him. It was nice feeling chemistry for the first time in over 10 years. It gave me a lot of happiness. However, it’s time to move on and wish him well. Maybe our paths will cross again someday and we can be friends. Who knows?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I have three doctors in my family, not one of them ever dated a patient. All of them married people in their profession by the way.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Don't ask him out, I think he is being personable is all...and if he feels the same way he will find a way to ask you out, but I don't think he can for fear of getting sued or kicked off the medical board....doctors are not allowed to date their patients past or present.
You might just say you enjoyed meeting him and thanks for being a great doctor smile and leave it at that.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Thanks for your answers!! I don't want to say too much for fear of giving myself away. But I will NOT be seeing this dr again, had a broken bone that is healed now. He's a warm guy, his staff loves him and they always make a point to mention how great he is. We talk a lot about outside interests...and what he does on weekends etc. Maybe he does this with all his patients, I don't know. They all seem old and diabetic. But there is ELECTRICITY, and its like we could talk forever. Long glances...smiling at each other the whole time. Lots of self depricating humor that I enjoy. I'm always inclined to let the guy do the asking, but I know older men are sometimes afraid of seeming creepy, and the dr angle makes it tricky. Work thing is a great idea, tho I work with an ex and that could be weird. Hmmm. I just need something to say that makes my intentions clear without coming off crazy or putting myself to far out there, in case I've misread him. I know there is chemistry but maybe he's just enjoying the flirtation?... He's a fit handsome dude for his age. What a qundary! :)To make it all worse I accidentally wore a ring on my wedding finger last time (my middle finger was swollen). I saw him eyeballing it like crazy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): My advice is not to make a move on him. He is not allowed to have a relationship with a patient- past or present. Even if he feels the same way he can not persue it so he would have to knock you back. It is likely to make him feel very uncomfortable and you probably would not want him treating you again. Sorry, I know this is not what you want to hear.
...............................
|
