A
male
age
41-50,
*hostbusters
writes:Hi I'm in a predicament. She's my office girl that does all my payroll stuff, and ever since she started working with us, she has always made a habit to bug me. And knowing that she is bugging me when she had a boyfriend at the time, I'd just give it back. We seem to have an interesting relationship, she asks me to bring her coffee to her in the office, and I work out of the office and only there once a week. She always makes long hard eye contact with me, and just the other day she made some comment that she "Wasn't looking at my ass" Sometimes, we will just chat on the phone, and not say much. I feel so torn, because I don't want to date a coworker, especially at this job. My boss was teasing me about 2 months ago saying she has the hots for me and wants to know if I want to go for a drink. When I said "ok" he replies that her number and everything is "confidential" And she was right beside him, when he was texting me this. I don't know if she's just playing me or what. I feel real sad, because the window of opportunity is going to close if I don't make my move. I even did a pros and cons list. Cons 2 reasons TO ask her out. Pros, 4 reasons NOT to ask her out.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 I have never been a fan of office romances. Because too often the fall-out when such romances fail can divide the team.
Once two people enter into a relationship at wokr the tongues start chattering and petty allegations start being made that one party is getting an advantage at work just because that party is dating a person who is higher up that ladder.
The gossip may not be true but it taints the atmosphere
But worse follows for the company if one party files sexual harrassment claims about a colleague at work. It can cost the company bad press publicity and cost the company a packet when the sexual harassment claims are substantiated in cout.
Plus there is the added drama of private secret aspects of the liaison soon get spread about the workplace. Some of which is publicity you would normally share with no one.v
Find a new Girl friend at a business two doors down from the business you work for now.
A
male
reader, ghostbusters +, writes (9 May 2012):
ghostbusters is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yea I'm not too keen on asking her out. But I talk about her so much my friends are pushing me to ask her out. Plus too I do find her really attractive, but I'm just not in the right place now to date anyone. Especially someone from this job.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (8 May 2012):
 "Cons 2 reasons TO ask her out. Pros, 4 reasons NOT to ask her out."
Well, there is your answer. The work place is not a place to strike up a romance or a relationship. There are too many chances that it will get messy. Imagine your work life if you two were date and if you were to break up. In both cases, it's not a very professional foot forward. Do you want people to take you and your work seriously, or do you want them to wonder how your relationship with XY and Z is coming along? These things just take away attention from your skills, your duties and your professionalism. And that's just the beginning of the negatives.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (7 May 2012):
Do they not have sexual harassment policies in Canada?!
1. The staring at your ass comment-is weird and unprofessional.
2. Your boss...YOUR BOSS saying that she has the hots for you and wants a drink...then tries to toy with you about the phone number thing. Really weird, again unprofessional, and would be grounds for termination in some places.
3. Workplace dating/romances...not the best idea, especially if you're in the same department. The girl might have a boyfriend, do you really want all that drama? She sounds like she's a flirt, but if you know for sure she doesn't have a boyfriend, then I guess ask her out. Otherwise, I think you should save yourself the drama as well as the awkwardness around the workplace if things don't work out.
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (7 May 2012):
 First off, this is sexual harassment and you have a legitimate case here if you are not comfortable with their comments and stares.
Somewhere in your workplace is a hotline phone number you can call to report this behavior. This phone number connects to Federal regulators and laws which protect you from being fired for reporting this harassment.
If you DO like the flirting and approaches and comments, that is your choice. However, if you do not like it, call that number.
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