A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm 41yrs old and single. I have been seeing a married man 55yrs. We had been friends for about a year when one day he asked me if we could just have sex. He said that he was lonely he had no companionship with his wife anymore. I was lonele too I'd been divorced for 4 years and in no relationship. So we did. Now 6 months later I have fallen in love. We see each other every day best sex I've ever had, he makes all the time he can with me, but now I want more. He has been married for 37yrs, 1 grandchild lives with them she is 10. I feel like he wants to be with me too but has the responsibility of taking care of his family financially I have told him I loved him. I don't know what to do when should I ask him to leave? Or should I ? Please someone help me. I know what we are doing is wrong but I can't tell him I can't do this anymore for fear of being alone again.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 Has your lover actually said to you, that he loves you? I bet he hasn't, it sounds a bit one sided to me, but then im not emotionally involved, so i guess its easy to judge. Right, this is what you do, you say to your lover that you want to be with him permanently, you give him 3 months to decided, if he makes excuses up and says he cannot leave his wife, then you walk...your still young and you dont have to be alone, by being with this man, your missing out on proper happiness with Mr Right out there. Thats your options....good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Sorry babes, but men really leave their wives and family. You can ask, but you won't like the answer. He will find a million and one reason's why he can't leave her and be with you.
Many men lie about their marriages, they lie and say their not happy at home, they can't leave because of the "grandchildren"????? the dog, the cat, the mortgage. Men that want to leave, tell you their going to do it, and then move out straight away to be with you and hang everything else.
Your situation is a bit different, because you are both older, and I've heard many marriages do actually break down after many, many years. However, in the majority of cases a man dose not leave his wife, and even if he dose, he gets unhappy, misses her and then goes back again.
Do you want to risk it. How will you feel if you ask and he says no. How will you feel if he decides to put her first and keep you as second, alone and waiting for him to call? You present as aged 41 and currently living in the USA. Your still a very young woman, and you have just hit your sexual prime. You can stay unhappily having an affair with a married man for a very, very long time. Your wasting your youth on him, and he is stopping you from falling in love and finding a man off your own. How will you feel in 10, 20 years if this goes on. Married men can cause you to waste your life and usually leave the other women heartbroken with a pile of regrets. Get out now while you can. I don't think he will leave his wife, and the longer you stay the more you will get hurt.... Sorry...
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (13 December 2008):
Don't contribute to breaking up a family. This man is wrong for confiding in you in the first place. He was too damn lazy to work on his marriage with his wife, so now he's thinking about giving up, and you wanna encourage that? it you was a real friend you would've turned him down when he wanted sex and encouraged him to work on his relationship with his wife. He made a choice to love her for life. Love isn't always easy, but that doesn't mean one should throw in the towel and give up.
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