A
female
age
30-35,
*annapao26
writes:So I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 34. I've been dating him for 5 months. He is the most amazing guy ever. He has 3 children and he loves then he always puts them as he's priority which I like because that's how its supposed to be. last year I was In the hospital and I almost died and he was there with me through everything. I'm in college and he works. My mom wanted me to take 5 classes and I took 4 because 5 is too much for me, so I lie about one of my classes and I went to he's house instead most of the time he would leave work to be there with me cus he didn't like the fact that I was going to be outside walking around in the cold at night. But I noticed it wasn't fair for him to be stock with me when he actually had to work. I love him more than anything but I feel like I'm pushing him apart from me. He doesn't trust me no more since I'm always lying just to see him. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks and I miss him like crazy there's time when I feel like I'm losing him. I asked him if he loves me and he told me he wouldn't be with someone if the doesn't love that person and I believe him. I'm always the one telling him I love you and I miss you. He doesn't really call me if I don't call him because he says he's always busy. I've been asking him to see when am I going to see him and he said that he doesn't want me to keep asking him that he will tell me when. I've never been so sure about anything but I'm def. So sure that I love him and I'm gonna do anything for our love only the day he tells me that he doesn't love me I will let go and hope for his happiness. However, I miss him and I want to see him should I continued to ask when am I going to see him or just let him ask me?
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female
reader, dannapao26 +, writes (27 January 2011):
dannapao26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI already told my mom the true I told her I'm only gonna take 4 classes. I'm trying to make things right and show him that I love him. I don't hang out with friends my age because he doesn't let me hang out with my friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): I think your being too clingy and it's making him irritated.
clearly your feeling insecure because you said you feel like you're losing him. so as a result you keep pestering him with asking him do you love me? When will I see you next? etc etc also when you keep saying I love you, I miss you, after awhile if it sounds like a broken record it can be irritating because he thinks you're saying I love you to "force" him to say it back.
this can be annoying after more than, like, a few times in a row! give the guy a break. if he already said he loves you then quit asking. If he already said he will let you know when he will see you next, then quit asking about that too.
and why are you quitting the extra class to go hang out at his house? You should spend time with friends your own age as well. Don't make your world revolve around him.
A needy clingy insecure girlfriend is very off putting to a lot of guys
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A
female
reader, Doriann +, writes (27 January 2011):
HiThe first thing that concerns me is the lies you are telling your mom. You may be getting away with it for now but believe me when I say that you will be found out.I believe that this man is also concerned with your lies. Although there is quite an age difference between you, under the right circumstances the relationship could work.I get a distinct feeling that he is questioning your maturity in all this.You need to start with showing him that you can be a responsible and trustworthy adult.If he knows you are lying to your mom why would he not think that you have the capability to lie to him also.From what you say about him he seems to be a responsible person. He is a good dad and he works.I am not doubting that he cares very much for you but I can understand his hesitation to move your relationship forward.You need to stop putting him under pressure to leave work because he is worried about you walking around in the cold at night!Are you sure that you cant do 5 classes, or is this just an excuse to buy time to be with him rather than take the extra class?I may sound harsh here but you need to take the pressure off him to leave work, concentrate on your studies and reach your goals. By doing this he will respect and admire you.You have to build up his trust in you and the only way to do this is to be mature enough to work hard and reach your goals in college. When he is working let him go to work knowing he is not going to have to worry about you.He will respect you for this.Its all about behaving in a more mature way. If you want to be with a man who is that much older than yourself then you have to understand that he is going to expect a lot more maturity than you have displayed up to now.If you genuinly cannot cope with 5 classes then you have to be honest with your mom and tell her. At the end of the day it is you that has to bear the work load, not her.The spare time you have can then be spent at home rather than putting this man under pressure to leave work.This will drive him away for sure if it already hasn't.I apologise if this is not how you want to hear things but it would be unfair on you if I was to advice you to continue on the road you are on right now.
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