A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a guy for the past 2 weeks. at the beginning everything was going well and he seemed very into me. Yesterday, he invited me to meet his friends for the first time. To most of his friends, he introuduced me as a friend, except to one other girl (he told her i'm his girlfriend)He had told me we should wait for sex as he wants it to be special and not something just physical but we both got carried away and slept together. He'll be visiting another country in August and he told me he'll be staying with a childhood friend (female)as otherwise she'd be disappointed if he stays somewhere else. I feel that this is not right but I didn't want to appear needy so I didn't say anything. Yesterday, I overheard him making plans for a holiday with his friends in September. He didn't tell me anything about it and when I asked him he tried to avoid answering me. He then said that he and his friends are planning to go together on holiday. Could it be that he avoided discussing this because we may not be together by that time? or does he not want me to join? He seems to trust me and he allowed me to stay at his place on my own (even though we met just 2 weeks ago), I found a couple of love letters and a photo (of his ex who lives in another country I think). Since he kept the letters and photo, I'm not sure whether all has finished between them.I don't want to appear needy but at the same time I don't want him dating other women if we continue seeing each other. What can I do? Should I talk to him? I really like this guy and he does seem to like me too but I'm not sure. I'm confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): He's a sexual grifter, he uses people, and I can assure you he is boinking the childhood friend and having a cost free place to stay and visit another country.What bothers me is that you think just because you slept with him after only knowing him two weeks that you should be in an exclusive relationship, meaning no sex with other partners.He hasn't offered you that, he clearly isn't expecting that of you, but is placating you by being vague to your pointed questions....which I am sure are turning him off about you.He doesn't sound like an honest up front relationship material guy.You decide based on the behavior an evidence you are finding, words are cheap, don't listen to his half baked explanations, he is manipulating you....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): There seem to be too many negative possibilities, and going just on probability alone, he sounds like one of those casual wanderers I know, as friends who operate randomnly, going to whichever area of the country or globe that their friends' party or sex is waiting. It's all too common for alot of the people I know to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and cheat on them, later saying that they're not married, so it's just random, casual sleeping around. Just my take on it.. For some reason, the people I know who do frequent drugs and constant partying are the ones who do that the most, usually blaming it on being wasted by the end of the night and someone "trying to sleep with them", though they do that all the time, and I end up hearing all the drama afterward about how they felt about cheating, or they just laugh about it. Just my comparison of the type of person you may be with. Things may be totally different than that, but that seems to be a common trend in the last 10 years. People seem to be trying to keep their options open with many people at the same time, justifying it with not being married anyway. This guy's actions toward you seem very suspicious, even if he's not as extreme as the examples I presented.
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