A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently a grad student and was a TA for a course (the semester just ended)The girl I'm interested in is not American born and has trouble with English. However, she seems quiet but really sweet and nice and even sent me an email immediately after the last class meeting. She thanked me for being patient and helping her with her questions.However, she got a B- in the class. I doubt that I will TA her class again, but I rarely spoke to her and she never came to my office hours.However, my class had more problems than I expected. There were a couple really annoying brats and I lost control of my emotions in the recent assignments I graded, and came across as being angry at them. One of them got their parents involved and may have went to the dean about it.The prof gave them new grades (due to my comments, not unfair grading), so they wouldn't go to the dean, so they are now submitted.Another time, I was joking with a couple of students in the class, and the two annoying brats heard what I was saying and overblew it. They got a few other witnesses (who aren't annoying and who I don't hate, but probably are angry at me because they didn't good grades) and reported it to the professor. I had no idea that joke would be considered offensive because I've heard other profs say similar things before.As for the girl I like, she is pretty quiet, so I doubt she talks to them. But she was the lab partner of a student I think may have been one of the witnesses.If I ask her out and she rejects me, I don't think she'll gossip about it since she seems quiet, but who knows. The problem is if she goes out with me, the brats may find out since I think there's a fairly good chance that they'll share some of the classes in the future. However, I will admit that I rarely find a girl attractive like her.I decided to email her to ask about her plans over the break. After she responded, I sent another one and she responded again. She mentioned she has volunteer work to do over the break, but seemed excited to hear that I came from another state to come to this grad school and to hear about my ethnic background. She mentioned that her English is terrible, she has had trouble making American friends, and that her friends are new immigrants like her. She thanked me for caringShould I ask her out now? I mentioned in my last email that I plan to book a flight home soon to see my family. But I didn't tell her that I haven't actually booked the flight yet, I'm in no hurry to do so, and I would like to go out with her at least once before going back. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Hi,
She seems like a sweet, shy, quiet girl. She's also consider and polite. Instead of asking her on a formal date, ask her if she wants to meet for coffee and just talk? It doens't need to be formal and all serious. Who knows after getting to know her better, becoming friends, you can ask her in a formal date in the future...
Good luck..
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