A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. My boyfriend and his friends are throwing a very nice party in a couple of weeks. My boyfriend and I will be arriving separately. He with his friends and me with mine.The party starts at 10. Should I be there as soon as it starts like a nice supportive girlfriend? Or should I arrive at the normal hour I would arrive for a party?He and I are both late habitually but I am not sure if he will arrive on time as well...for once lol. The event will have Valet, hors douvres, VIP sections and more so it is quite nice. What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): OP here.
Thanks for the responses guys. I will take the advice of the last person and arrive an 1/2 hour late. I feel that is appropriate.
@youwish my boyfriend and I are free and just have fun. we love each other. we don't do things "the way they should be." ya know? thanks for your response.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 October 2015):
 I think I'm slightly confused. It may be a weakness of the typed word versus the spoken word, but it felt to me like there may be some friction between you and your boyfriend involved with this party.
I say that because you made the comment "like a nice supportive girlfriend" and I read a twinge of sarcasm. And to be honest, if this is a party that involves the presence of you as a couple, usually the truly supportive thing to do is to arrive together AS a couple. So why this whole big deal about arriving separately, because that's the source of my greatest confusion. His friends should know you as his girlfriend, so unless this party is actually YOUR WEDDING DAY, why are you sequestered away from each other, not being allowed to ride in the same vehicle, be valeted together, and display yourselves AS a couple??
That's what I'm hung up on here. There's really no good supportive solution to this one because the real supportive solution is to be together from the start. It's tough to answer this question without knowing WHY you're arriving separately.
If it's a surprise party and he has no idea it's happening, then be on time.
If it's him returning directly to the party from being deployed for war and he's meeting you at his Welcome Home party, then be on time.
If it's his birthday party and some sort of Guy's outting is a birthday present a buddy's giving him, then arrive whenever you feel like it. but not more than 1/2 hour late.
If it's YOUR birthday party, then why the hell is he with his buddies??
You also said that you're going to be with your friends? When are THEY coming to the party? Wouldn't you be coordinating with them to arrive together and not planning your separate arrival?
Again, I'm confused here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2015):
 If you are HOSTING the party (even if it's not in your home) showing up "fashionably late" is ridiculous because your GUESTS might come on time and you aren't there.
If it was someone else throwing the party you could do the "show up at the "normal" hour" but you are hosting it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): If you are worried about seeming keen then turn up 1/2 an hour late. Not late enough to cause harm, not early enough to be waiting for him fir a long time. My guess is that you both want to arrive second.
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