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female
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anonymous
writes: Do I arrange to see my ex? I am about to move back to the area I happily lived in for 5 years with my ex. I originally moved away when he left me because it was so sad being there without him but I actually missed my "home" as I've grown to see it. I have been very depressed about the break up but have been very strong and haven't seen him for 5 months and only texted/emailed him with general questions nothing about "us". I'm kinda thinking I should arrange to see him on a friendly basis rather than dread the moment we bump each other (which is bound to happen). Is this a good idea? sensible? mature? or am I setting myself up for more heartbreak? If I find out he has a new girlfriend etc? My head keeps telling me he wouldn't let you go through this if he loved you as much as you love him but my heart just cries I love him no matter what. My family say it would be good closure as I'll soon know if he's moved on or still feels anything for me and then maybe I'll get some answers after nearly 7 months. But will I is anything ever that clear? What do you think?
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female
reader, natc27811 +, writes (9 December 2006):
im in same situation ive had few problems after splitting up with ex and same ex said he wants to meet wen he cums home from uni, i think he wants to be supportive but maybe he wants more well see, just got mixed emotions about it i guess
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): I think it's important you catch up with him for yourself - though be prepared as it may be hard afterwards. Ask him lots of questions and be cool...you never know what could happen (which is the beauty of life)? I have a very similar issue and bumped into my ex a few weeks ago (he finished it over a year ago). He seememd very sad and has texted me since for "a cup of tea" and a further catch up. We caught up when I bumped into him and don't know whether to see him or not for the same reason as you? I love him and miss him very much? but fear i'll hurt again - tho seeing him, he indicated that he still loved me!!! Go figure
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 If you need that closure then I suggest you do it. Just because he didn't ask for the meeting it's okay. You're not doing this for him but for yourself. Those months spent away from each other really makes a difference. Its obvious you still love him and you won't stop tomorrow. Like Stina said if you do or you don't you will be no better off. Arrange the meeting and be cordial. Don't bring up the past or you and him just enjoy the night with an old friend and leave with some dignity. Continue to heal. You're doing a great job at it.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 You can't move and everytime you go out worry you'll bump into him as it could take a while to actually do so and thats a long time worrying, I would meet up with him but I wouldn't bring up the past you moved away because the breakup was so hard on you and bringing up the past maybe what sets you back them 7 months when you've come so far, just meet up as friends and the time apart should have been enough for you both not to slip back into something you don't want but if him back is what you want then being friends and re-getting to know each other could help.
Good luck :o)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): it is never a good idea to arrange a one-to-one meeting with an ex. He has not arranged to meet with you, so just leave it, let it go. If he wanted you bad enough, he would have arranged to see you by now. Trust me, I have met up with an ex in the past (although arranged by HIM) and I ended up in deep trouble.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (24 October 2006):
 Hi Anon,
It sounds like you would really like to do this. If you need closure, then I think it's a good idea. If you don't get what you're looking for after you meet up with him, then you'll be no worse off than you are now, right? I think you should just take a chance and see what happens.
Take care.
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