A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 14 year old female who has never had a boyfriend and recently experienced a really bad loss in my life. I feel like i will never be loved.There's another problem I kinda look up to this teacher at school and do anything i can to talk to him, but its always bout school stuff. i really want to tell him i look up to him or maybe talk to him about my recent loss as i find him the only teacher i get on with. should i talk to him?????
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (19 October 2007):
He may make a good friend, buy don't let him touch you in a sexual way or meet you outside of school.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): There is no reason for you to choose not to talk to this teacher about your loss as long as you approach it with the right intentions. Dont think that pouring your heart out to him will create a bond between you and maybe fathem a relationship. What I find worrying is that the first and foremost point you mention is that you have never had a boyfriend, this tells me that you are feeling as though you need that kind of role in your life at this moment in time. Your teacher cant be this for you honey. It is just unacceptable behaviour and would cost him his career.You are 14 and have plenty time to gather the life you want around you. At hard times like those you are going through, endulge in the family that you do have, your family are grieving with you but knowone is talking. Initiate the conversations to get the answers, support and attention that you need right now. Take care x
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 The problem with talking to your teacher is that it might be viewed as inappropriate because of your age or the fact that your teacher is a man. It's great that you have someone you feel close to and get on with but what about your friends and family? They're able to support you emotionally whereas if you confide in this teacher he'll only really be able to support you practically, ie- refer you to someone else to talk to which I think would make you feel hurt and let down.
At fourteen I wouldn't worry about not ever having had a boyfriend. These things happen when we're ready for them. Let me ask you this though. What do you think about guys your age in general? I have a sneaking suspicion that you're fixating on this teacher because he's an older man and therefore more mature than the guys your age. He's a way of testing out your interaction skills with guys without risk. All the same I'd advise you to keep your teacher as a teacher and your friends and potential love interests separate. Right now the age factor makes any friendship inappropriate but it won't be like that forever so hang in there and keep your chin up.
CD
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