A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:two weeks ago i asked my husband to leave after yet another argument after he had too much to drink. he left and has now rented somewhere. we met up i thought to sort things out, he told me after much thought he wasn't coming back, because he couldn't be in a position of me telling him he had to leave, no mention of the excess drinking that causes the problems. he first said it was completely over then said i should set him free for now and that he may change his mind but he didn't know and could make no promises. no proper arrangements to collect the rest of his belongings. should i just accept the relationship is over? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (29 May 2010):
So once again a drunk tries to manipulate his wife... wow, a new pattern? Not hardly. You need to let him go, and hit his bottom and finally seek help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer.I feel he has put me in a position of trying to force my hand by saying it couldn't happen when i asked if there was any way we could save the marriage. I feel he has used emotional blackmail by saying he can no longer feel secure and confused me by grabbing my hand, kissing me on the mouth and telling me he loves me as we parted. saying what he has seems to have put me in a no win situation.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 It sounds like the ball's in your court. He might be willing to come back, on his terms. You aren't prepared to live with the drinking any more, and he's not prepared to acknowledge that it's a problem and do something about it. Your choice, then, seems to be to cave in and accept the status quo, or stick to your guns and say you won't live with him if he's going to drink. In short, he's calling your bluff.
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