A
male
age
,
*lex1343
writes:have been dating and being in a serious relationship with a woman since 2010 and she has just told me that during the Christmas she will be going on holiday to a cabine for 3 daysa with her ex husband and their 15 years daughter who lives with her in winnipeg. Her ex lives in a different province and she has never interduce us to each other and I don't even beleive that her ex knows that I exist. She says that they are doing it just to make their daughter happy but I still feel jealous and insecure about the situation. Do you think it's reasonable and I should just accept it or do you think I should say something?
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christmas, her ex, insecure, jealous, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2016):
 No I wouldn't be okay with this. She is 15, am sure she is well aware that her parents are split up and what they are doing is only confusing her even more and leaving you out. If it was me I would tell her that either you are also invited as her partner or else that is the end of it.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (6 November 2016):
 That's pretty ludicrous for her to expect you to be okay with that. I would definitely be raising my concerns.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (6 November 2016):
 No way, thats not on. I'd be totally pissed. Separated for nearly seven years, I think their child would be able to cope without her being there. This is really dismissive of you being her long term partner.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2016): From the daughter's point of view I think it's reasonable, especially for an only child. Spouses may divorce spouses but parents don't divorce children. Her parents are still her family and it's understandable that she still wants to spend time with both of them.
On the other hand, I realize children of divorce sometimes cling to the hope that their parents will get back together and the daughter could be hoping that spending Christmas together will lead to reconciliation.
In any event, I don't think this would be an appropriate occasion for you and her ex to become acquainted. I suggest that would best be accomplished outside the daughter's presence.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 November 2016):
 That would be a no-no for me.
If the ex KNEW about you, I "might" be less inclined to think there was something totally inappropriate about it - but since the ex doesn't know about you, it just seems shady.
If my husband pulled that, I'd be pissed.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (5 November 2016):
Have to agree with ciar on this .. you've been dating long enough to be invited along .. its just a short break and esp near Xmas would be lovely for all to get to know one another .. I would definitely sit down and have a chat ..
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 November 2016):
 I think your misgivings are understandable and it's a bit weird that she'd be going off, practically alone, with her ex. Whatever age her daughter is, it's not right to pretend, even for a short while, that they're back together.
It's not appropriate, in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2016): You could try saying "Have a great holiday with your ex and I wont be here when you get back."
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