A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27 years old, and I just had my first child, well, not just almost a year ago. I m not nursing anymore and droped about 15 lb since I had my daughter.I m 5.4 and I weigh about 135-137 lb. Everyone around me tells me how beatifull I look and how I managed to drop weight so fast. But that's the thing. Before I got pregnant I was a 115 lb. I m average build, not petite woman at all. People always were telling me before how thin I am, which I didn't think so. I considered myself to be normal.Now looking at myself in a mirror all I see is an overweight young woman. I jut can't get used to this image of me being that plump.My husband keeps on telling me that now I look like a woman, and before the baby I looked like a teenager. He likes curves, he says, and now I at least have butt, and more breast that before. Also I always had very thin arms, now they twice bigger.He also comments after my complains on my flat tummy. He says , do you know how many women have extra skin hanging after birth, and yours managed to go right back where it was. I try to loose weight, I go to GYM every day, eat very healthy, small portions and so on, but the weight is there, not a pound less. I got sick few weeks ago, and couldn't eat anything for 2 weeks, that's when I droped 7 lb, and I loved how I looked, but then after 2 weeks of me eating normally it all went back to 135 lb.My husband and my mom tell me that I was way too thin to begin with anyway, I couldn't stay like this my whole life, and now being size 6-8 is not bad at all.I feel like I went to a different category, especially when I look at 2 of my girlfriends that just had their 2nd babies, and how they managed to stay just the way they were. They still wear the same clothes they wore before their first babies. Everytime we go out together, I feel like hippopotamus next to them. My whole wardrobe is sitting in my closet. I still think that maybe one day I will fit in size 2 as before.My husband said today in the morning that I really need to get some body image therapy, as I started to drive him nuts. I always pinch certain areas of my body and tell him, see I never had it like this before.When we got married we decided on having at least 2 children. Now he says he doesn't want another one as he heard that after second child women gain even more weight, and he doesn't mind me being even 10 lb heavier than I'm now, but he is afraid I would drive him mad with my complaints.Should I just give up and be in peace with the fact that this is my normal weight now, or should I seek help somewhere else, may be get a special advice from nutritionist? I just don't know what else I can do about my eating habits as I'm truly healthy with my food, don't eat any breads or pasta, most veggies and fruits. Also I eat very little. Is it just how some women get after they had babies or there is a cure?
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 It sounds like you aren't losing weight because you're at your correct weight. If you aren't petite and 5'4, then 115 lbs is way to thin.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): Thank u all for answering. I do exercise, Nd do a lot of walking with a stroller. I live across a big park, so we have mummy and me work out, when a bunch of us get together with strollers and do lots of walking like 3 miles with lunges and push ups.
I guess I in my mind I know that I look ok, its just for me its a different image now that I see in a mirror. Just 2 years ago I was this slender girl Nd now I m not slender anymore, 20 lb.heavier.
I m still going to talk to nutritionist and see what she says. I don't want to keep on putting on weight with age.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Some walking, every day or two, can do wonders. Try to do about a mile (or kilometer).
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (31 August 2012):
 It took me some serious working out and starving lol calorie counting to get my abs back. ..from like when I was in high school before kids and now I don't have them but if you must know you most in likely will always gain some weight Don't stress don't worry you look best anyway you are.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Sweetie... you sound perfect weight and body wise now.
women are supposed to have curves and a bit of a tummy....
your husband probably thinks you are hotter now than ever before. I can tell you that my fiance was too thin when we met and he reminded me of a prepubescent boy. He gained about 20 pounds and was perfect....
I was 135 last summer and I'm 5'2" and I looked skeletal... I picked up a few pounds and looked good... no bony shoulders, no totally flat ass.... like a woman.. not a bag of bones... I THOUGHT I looked GREAT.... after I gained 20 pounds my fiance was like "well no you were bony and too thin"... and I was but NO ONE wanted to tell me I looked too thin because I still weighed 135 pounds (still "overweight")
as we age (i'm 52 now) we need a bit more weight on us...
I don't think your husband's suggestion of a bit of body image therapy is a bad idea. I think you may have a bit of body dysmorphia.... our society as a whole makes us think that thinner is better... and hollywood is really bad about that... but know that the average american woman wears a size 14 (and that's a vanity size 14) so a 6/8 is not a bad size...
the key is to be healthy...
eat healthy... please make sure you are not under eating
get exercise (but daily workouts are not good especially if you are lifting as your body needs time to rest) a lovely walk with the baby in a backpack or running stroller sounds nice both for exercise and mother baby bonding
get your vitamins
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (31 August 2012):
 To be honest it sounds like you're in fantastic shape to me. The weight is within normal range for your height. Those who know you and can see you say you look better than ever so I think you should accept how you look and learn to love it.That's not to say you're stuck at that weight forever or that you'll gain even more after subsequent children. Just that there is no reason to pressure yourself into losing more.Men tend to be brutally honest when asked (I just responded to another woman whose boyfriend was) so if you're husband is telling you that you look great, then you do. If he thought you could benefit from shedding a few pounds or toning up those muscles, then he would say so. You can take that to the bank.
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