A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid Alot of people say pregancy confuses the mind and makes women think irrationally i like to think that in this particullary situation i'm not thinking irrationally nor am i being selfish . but i'd rather hear it from other peoples perspective if i'm .You see im 21 and happily married and now expecting my first baby in april . my husband works up north and comes home every 3 months for 2 weeks . our plan was to get a car and get an apt and since my husband makes about 4 thousand every month we figured it was no problem but my parents thought that while i was pregnanti move in with them and help pay rent. so we figured we'd save money to get a car and i get help raising the baby for a while which was great. unfortunaly our plans didn't happen like we thought and once word got out we had some what good money people began to ask for some help like his parents my parents and his friends .we never got the money back to make matters worse not only did we help other people but he'd also use his food money for weed .it was riduculous so i took action and brought him home and delt with the situation addressing his spending and lending . i quickly worked to inforce to everyone that we were not lending any more money nor can they count on us in the furture for it.selfish i know but were talking about thosands lost and spent on helping other people who we are not resposible for. i on the other hand had used the money i had from both checking and savings on rent drs appts baby stuff and etc. when my husband returned to work we started again as new with how the money should be used the proper way since i am in charge of all of it this time i had complete control. but now it is brought to my attention that my parents are financially not doing so well for there spending habits have also taken a toll and can't afford to even pay for there morgage . now there telling that since they know how much my husband makes they want we to pay 1000 in rent which really pissed me off because i've lent them money before for gas there car payments light bills water bills and thats not inculding the 250 i pay for rent its insane i got easliy get an apt with all utilities paid for 500 a month i mean at least i'd be paying for my own place then. i think its unfair and there taking advantage of us my dad even to see my bank account and wants to know where all of my money goes which is bullshit because its none of his business he says he knows i lent other people money and he wants to know why i can't do the same every month now if were banking in money and we can afford it. he said i don't know why you can't share in your wealth when im stuggling . when its not at all like that because my parents don't know anything my husband hasn't even gotten paid yet and already they have his pay day written down on there calander so they know when to ask . My husband says we should just give them the money and i say no because rite now we can't because we still need to save for the hosptial bill were gonna get once the baby is born after the insurance is charged not only that but my parents want me to put the baby under there insurance so they can claim him on there income tax . its so fusterating i keep crying and wanting to yell i feel like just moving out and letting them fall but at the same time i feel bad but its my huband hes married to me so hes responsilble for me and our son not my whole family . what should i do ? should i give them the money or should i leave ? do i have a right to be angry at them or are they right i should share the supposed weatlh ?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I agree with Honeypie…
Move out.
It’s YOUR life not theirs.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): "my parents want me to put the baby under there insurance so they can claim him on there income tax"
And then get cancelled for non-payment, leaving your baby uninsured.
Your parents are stealing from their unborn grandchild to pay their debts at his expense, absolute bottom feeders, lowest of the low, the sooner you get away from their greedy toxic presence, the better for you, hubby and child. They care absolutely nothing about their daughter or grandchild, neither do the other weasel relatives and
hangers-on who view a hard-working husband and father-to-be as a personal ATM.
Adult children don't support parents, certainly not at expense of unborn babies, it's your parents' own fault they can't pay their bills, that they are overcharging pregnant daughter for rent to bail themselves out is beyond contempt.
Tell hubby to grow a pair and stop this reprehensible thievery, obviously there is no low too low to which your bloodsucking parents will stoop, do not under any circumstances give in to their demands for money, any dollar given to them is one less dollar for your baby.
Make plans to find your own place immediately, put your child's interests first, obviously never your parents' priority so something you have to learn for yourself, do not allow your parents to guilt you out of one more cent,
believe me they'd put you and baby out on the street in a heartbeat before ever inconveniencing themselves.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Within your submittal I found this phrase: "....selfish i know but..."
THAT, Dear Girl is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!! WHY would you (and your man) consider it selfish for YOURSELVES to enjoy the success of your (his?) labor??????
Remove that phrase from your submittal.... then re-read it... and figure out why you would expect to be the bank for your family and friends...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Save up, move out. Stop handing out money.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Do what's best for your child. Save your money and don't lend it to anybody else. Your parents are wrong for trying to make you feel guilty. You learned your lesson about lending money and shouldn't have to go back on your promise just because they're your parents. Yes, they're your parents and they took care of you, but now you have a baby coming and you can't let them treat you this way. It's their bills and their problem. Start looking for some apartments or at least get some magazines and find some that you like until your husband can come home. Show them to him and you two can decide what you like best. Staying there will only lead to resentment and anger and your child shouldn't be in that environment. Your parents need to accept that you have learned a life lesson and that they are no exception. Hope this helps.
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