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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19. We've been together for 3 years.(He's a year older, so I skipped my senior year of HS, graduated a year early, just so we could go away to college together.) As far as our future goes, we've always had a reasonably set, yet flexible, plan. However, a week ago, completely out of the blue, he told me that he wants to leave for the Marine Corps Recruitment Training camp in 2011. And to be perfectly honest, I'm pissed. Honestly, he's never once, in all the time that I've known him ever mentioned even the slightest desire to join the armed services and here he is with the date that he intends on leaving and it just doesn't sit well with me. I mean, we had a plan and the Marines were never a part of it. I told him that I was upset about it when he asked me what I thought about it and he says that I have to right or reason to be upset. I know I'm not his wife or anything but I still feel like this was something he should have talked to me about before he made the actual decision. Or at least let me know he was thinking about it. I feel like he was inconsiderate of me and my feelings. He thinks I'm being selfish and dramatic. Is it reasonable for me to be upset that he's planning on leaving in less than a year and I'm just hearing about it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Sorry but people's plans change. What they may have wanted to do last year, he's probably changed his mind this year. Did he get rejected from his choice schools? Maybe, one of those recruiters really influenced his decision and talked him into signing up. Has he already signed up, as in is this is set in stone or is he just thinking about it? I mean if a guy doesn't get into the college they want or don't want to school anymore than they have to, the next option they have is the military.
You have a right to be ticked off to an extent, then again this is his future his life and this is the path he wants to take. Can't really argue with that. The next thing you should be concerned about is how do you fit in his future. As in have you guys discussed anything about getting married? Being a military girlfriend/wife isn't an easy life to live. It's definitely NOT for every girl. See if you fit in his changed plans. Also, keep in mind if this isn't definite as in he's already filed the paperwork then he may change his mind again.
A
male
reader, Alwayswondering  +, writes (5 December 2010):
Hello there.
You are not in the wrong. He is being an idiot and it's not fair. You sacrificed a year of high school to be with him. You guys made a decision from the beginning in what you intended to do. I'm sure there was some type of reinforcement of your plans either flat out asking each other, or displayed through actions. I don't know what I can say to help you. I find this odd that this was out of the blue. Usually, when one plans going to the army, they think about it long and hard. I wish you luck in figuring out this mess and I hope that this good relationship does not fall in shambles.
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