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Should a guy have sex with a girl when still dating or before marriage?

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Question - (22 September 2021) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2021)
A male Cyprus age 30-35, *jay malang888 writes:

Dear cupids,i need advice.I've been on several blind dates until i got a girl i wanted.BUT she's asking for sex, must i?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2021):

BTW...if you and she are both Turkish Cypriots, and Sunni Muslim; you already know the answer to your question. You'd have to deal with her father, brothers, and uncles if they find-out.

Need I say more?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2021):

If you're a virgin and it's a fear thing. If she's Miss Right -- then yes. Tell her you never did it you need help. Bet she'll love playing teacher.

It if it's a religious thing, she's not for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2021):

What I meant to say was:

"You need answers from all sides of this. Not just what people [think] who scoff at the existence of God; or think the belief in God (or the Bible) is unscientific nonsense."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2021):

If you are hesitant due to your religious-faith; then decide according to what the sacred doctrine and principles of your religion instruct you to do. If it goes against your moral values; then don't do it. Especially, if the outcome is going to result in your having feelings of guilt. No-one is accountable for your soul and behavior but you.

We Christians are taught "the devil made me do it" isn't going to be an acceptable defense; when we face Jesus Christ on the day of judgement. We are going to be held fully accountable for our sins and choices. God is merciful and forgiving. Once we are saved as Christians, we are held to a higher standard. The Lord knows we will make mistakes; but we don't get a automatic pass, when we have plenty of time to make a choice. It's a battle between our spirit and the flesh. The flesh will die, and the spirit is eternal.

If you're from Cyprus, the primary religion in your country is Christian. Most Greek Cypriots are members of the Autocephalous Greek Orthodox Church of Cyprus (Church of Cyprus).

Sometimes the test of your faith is to resist temptation. You don't ask unbelievers what you should do in matters of your faith and relationship with God. Pray first. You do things according to your own conscience and convictions; and how strongly you adhere to the teachings of your faith. It's strictly your choice, but a fellow Christian (if you're a Christian) should tell you to refrain; if your innermost-convictions and The Holy Spirit tell you not to.

Unbelievers, theists, and atheists can't take responsibility for your behavior, or what happens to you in the afterlife. They do what they like; with no concern for divine judgement, or the consequences of disobedience to the scriptures of any faith, or the Holy Bible.

Consider also, if she is acting in rebellion against her parents and family. Most fundamentalist religions are pretty strict against premarital-sex; and it's not usually the men who suffer any consequences. It's the women. If she comes from a family of fundamentalists or zealots; you could be forced to marry her. It's unlikely, but sometimes that's the case. She might even be pregnant, and looking for someone to blame; because the guy who really got her pregnant got away, or could be someone she's afraid to expose. That is, if she seems strangely persistent that you have to. If she's a Muslim, act at your own possible peril. Her family could kill you. You live in the Middle East, westerners are the last people on earth to tell you what to do.

If you're not true to any particular faith; I guess it's up to you, and it doesn't matter to anybody but you and her. You need answers from both sides of this. Not just what people who scoff at the existence of God; or think the belief in God (or the Bible) is unscientific nonsense.

If you believe you should wait, then do what's right for you. If a little voice within you tells you to wait, then wait. You can also ask the minister of your faith.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntIt is your body and it is your right to say what happens to it. Nobody should ever allow someone to talk them into doing something with which they are not comfortable.

You need to be honest and up-front with this girl if you don't want sex. Be prepared to explain to her WHY you don't want sex with her as she may see it as a rejection.

Never do anything you don't feel is right for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 September 2021):

Honeypie agony auntMust you?

No. You don't have to. If you don't want to have sex before marriage, tell her that. If she is willing to wait until you two know each other well enough to decide on marriage, then do so if THAT feels right.

There are no rules here. There are your own values, personal morals, and ideals. Add religious views and beliefs.

You have to ask yourself, what is the RIGHT thing to do FOR you?

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