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male
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anonymous
writes: i've just broke up with my girlfriend,we've only been together for 4 months,but ive known her for much longer, in that time we got engaged and even talked about having kids in the next year and a half,but things went bad about 3weeks ago,her best friend left to a job abroad and she changed over night,im also leaving to go to iraq in november and she said she found it hard that two people she loved were leaving,she became very distant,and went off all body contact.i found this very hard as i wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before i have to go away,she stoped wanting to see me and spent more time going out with friends even though she would make plans with me first.the thing i find hardest is a week ago we were engaged and she told me she wanted to spend the rest of our lifes together and that she truly loved me so how can she tell me its over.i would do anything to be with her again i told her she only had to ask and i would leave the army,i cant gve up on us as i know we are meant to be together,so what do i do to get her back
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male
reader, Groundsman +, writes (28 September 2006):
A relationship is the most precious gift life has to offer. Just think about one question: Is your help in the army, one out of ten million, going to matter enough in this war, to outscale a deep love that you have for another. I would wager you that your companions want for you to stay home is a million times greater than the army's desire for you. The effect between the both of you if you left would be more excruciating than you will ever imagine, and if you ended up not surviving through your battle, would you want her to go through it? Would you want to cause the only one you love so much pain that is unbearable? The army wants single men and women who will not have a significant other who will miss them or whom they will miss. My advice: Stay with her and preserve your love because it is the most precious gift that anyone could have in any lifetime.
If you do choose the Army, godspeed, and good health to you so you may return with honor and give her the best most unrivaled day of her life.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Well I'm not so sure she has gone off you at all here - i'm sure what she said was how she genuinely felt, plus im sure shes very aware of the risks that going to Iraq carries. In that sense what she is doing here is an attempt at self-preservation. It seems likely that she has not 'gone off' you at all.
She probably wont want you to give up something as big as the army for her and even if she did probably feels under pressure not to say so.
What you need to do is open to debate - make some tough choices I would say but not make anything concrete until you have talked things through with her. Explain how you feel and what you are prepared to do and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I can understand that she is missing her friend and now that has brought it home that you are leaving soon too.
She probably doesn't want to tell you that she doesn't want you to go because that would mean you would leave for the army therefore her feeling guilty on her being the reason you gave up something that mean't alot to you and worried you will blame or resent her for it.
You need to talk to her and tell her how important she is to you and how you don't want to give up on the relationship.
See what she comes back with and go from there, maybe give her a little bit of time to come to terms with her friend leaving and time to miss you and regret the way she pushed you away.
Good luck :o)
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