A
female
age
36-40,
*nsure2011
writes:I met a guy about a year ago. He and I started dating we broke it off 6 months into the relationship and remained friends. One of my best friends met him around the same time. We both met him through the guy she was dating and interested in at the time- he is the cousin of the guy she was dating. She and my ex are now very close. They call each other brother and sister. I can't understand this. I have brought it to their attention that I believe they are too close especially since he is my ex and she is a close friend I don't think it's right for them to talk on the phone and be so buddy buddy.They go out to eat alone. I've told them both it makes me uncomfortable as well as the guy who introduced us because he feels his cousin should respect the fact he used to date that girl. Am I just being jealous or do I have a right to find it inappropriate for my best friend to call my ex boyfriend brother after only knowing him a year and knowing our history? The guy pretty much cheated on me I was mature about it and just broke it off but said I didnt mind him as a friend. Shouldn't she distance herself from him knowing he has betrayed me? They both swear they love each other like a brother and sister but this just seems very unusual to me am I being blind?
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female
reader, unsure2011 +, writes (30 December 2010):
unsure2011 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrom all the people I've talked to I have to say this is the best unbiased answer I have received. I needed a new perspective to make sense of things. I agree 100%. Thank you
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 December 2010):
 First off, your girlfriend and your ex are not the sharpest tools in the shed. What they are doing is insensitive and bound to lead then into troubles. But. . . .
Do you have a right to find it inappropriate? That is a strange question. Yes you have the right to have and own your own emotions. You will need to feel however you feel about this. You have a fight to feel. You do not have a right to do. You do not have a right to tell your girlfriend who she can date. You have no right to try to control who your ex sees. I'm not saying that I think you won't do this. In fact I think you are doing those things. You just really don't have any authority to do them.
You gave up all ownership of your ex the day you broke up with him. Trying to use your friends to continue punishing him, is maintaining a relationship that you voluntarily gave up. You have no right to hang on to him.
Expecting your friends to be instruments in your misguided attempts at revenge will just drive you apart faster. Now if your girlfriend was asking me this question I would tell her to find a better candidate, but she is not.
This is about you, and how you will be happiest. You will not get happier seeking revenge. You will not get happier trying to break up your girlfriends relationship (no matter how stupid it is). To get happy you are going to have to get past this. Concentrate on making other people happy.
FA
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