A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok here goes 32 yr old male here and need some advice..been with this girl for about 9 mo. now and we have had our ups and downs..i live about an hour away and have alot more responsibilities in life than her..i'm looking to settle down and find someone who wants to be up here with me and have a true committment..even though we do have a committment to each other, she still feels she is not ready to move up, ect..i gave her her space and we have been working on our relationship..she likes to be out with friends alot more than i do and we have butted heads on the issue before..i've tried to be avaliable to go with her, i've tried to explain why i feel going out alot doesn't really work for me as far as a long term committment, ect..i have recently made an effort to go see her at her place more often, even though my schedule is alot more hectic than hers..while at her house the other night i went to go online and i saw a few e-mails between her and her friend, which basically read, " i can't go to the christmas party tonight b/c my b/f is coming over, great fun!" and another that read "if i didn't have someone telling me what to do , i'd be out every night of the week if i could"..i traveled to see her, took her for a nice christmas dinner, drove around to see the lights, ect b/c i will not see her for the holidays..the e-mails really just crushed me somewhat..i confonted her about it and she basically put it back on me b/c i read the e-mail and i shouldn't have..i do agree with that, but it was right in my face..it doesn't take away from the fact that she is basically talking bad about me behind my back and telling her friends she would basically rather be out if it wasn't for me "telling" her what to do..she says they didn't mean anything, ect..i can't help but feeel deeply hurt here and like this girl is telling me one thing and wanting something else..i don't deserve it
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