| A
male
,
*srael
writes: she has started keeping quiet when i call on phone and when i asked her that have lost interest in tooking to me she was very proud to say yes. so how do i gain her interest again and make thing get rolling i love this girl and am very sure i dont want to lose her please people help. this is all i have.cheers! and have a nice day Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ELEONORA +, writes (21 June 2006):
Okay.I can really understand you and how you feel cause the same thing happened to me as it concerns my boyfriend.First of all I think that there is a difference when one loses a boyfriend and when one loses a girlfriend and due to this the advice one could give in order to help in any way is different also.One more thing that I suspect and this is due to the fact that you wrote:she suddenly lost her interest-that means there wasn`t anything serious eg.lack of communication or any other problems that could lead to this behaviour on her part-that there is a possibility that she is seeing someone else...Now about how you could win her back.This is hard and even harder in the case that maybe another guy is involved.And it may depend on how well she would go with this other guy if we suppose that there is another guy.However, what I would suggest in general is that you keep an initial `distance` from her maybe for one to two weeks.Don`t call her if she doesn`t call you first.And if she calls you give her the impression that there started to be a `lot of interesting things`in your life and create a sort of a mystery and the idea that you are doing really great.Also whenever she happens to call treat her only as a friend for some time and don`t talk to her too much of a time on the phone saying perhaps at the end of your phone conversation:ok I have to go now, ok bye I cn`t talk anymore cause I`m busy and so on but without specifying anything more.In other words create a sort of a mystery and even a sense of indifference.If this works and with the passing of time she starts calling you even more than one time and she gets more persistent with you continue with this tactic and you may win her back.If you follow this advice and nothing improves then you can move to plan two which I would call:`the good friend tactic`.In this tactic you will be nice to her but you will not reveal that you are still in love with her.You will be a friend, you will show that you care for her but only as a friend, maybe sometimes listen to any kind of problem that she may have and try to help but in a strictly friendly manner.Women appreciate the good-hearted man, who cares about them, how they feel and he is prepared to help them.But in this case too, keep again a kind of a mystery around you,eg.don`t communicate with her every day of the week, maybe one or two times, don`t talk too much of yourself unless she asks and even if she asks avoid telling too many things so that you will create ``questions`` in her mind.And continue doing this for as long as it takes.Only when she shows a sudden interest towards you and if she changes you will change this ``tactic`` too.-I hope that this advice will help you and that she will evetually return back to you.I also sympathize with you for I can fully understand what you are going through.
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Hi there,In my experience I find that it helps to 'cool off' a little and find other interests - perhaps not being so 'available'? Perhaps you may have been a little demanding, or coming across as being too 'needy'?Beleive me, I have been on the receiving end of such attention, and it can kill off any remaining tender feelings if the partner is too 'full on'!If she has feelings for you, it won't hurt to give her a little space to sort herself out. Who knows, you may find life more interesting if you can occupy yourself in something absorbing, meet new people - widen your own social circle. In the meantime you will be more interesting to her if you have a little mystery. And if as you fear she has lost the feelings she once had, and you find yourself a free agent, you will still have a life to move on with. It CERTAINLY is not the end of the world, we all lose people we do not want to, that's what makes life interesting - and makes us all stronger in the end!Most importantly - KEEP SMILING!
...............................
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Hey there israel
I think you should ask her why she has lost interest in you there must be a valuable reason for her choice and if so I would suggest you find out what it is..
I also think you should give ehr some time she will think more of you if you give her some space and in the meantime I am very concerned when you say that it is all you have..
If you need someone to talk to Im here to help..
Hope I have been of some light to you..
Best wishes
Jacqueline
...............................
|
