A
male
age
26-29,
*ujina
writes:Hello, well there it goes. I got a problem. There this girl whom I know for 5 years already. We used to be boyfriend and girlfriend when we were young. It ended up pretty ugly and we didn't talk for few yards. One day she sent me a message and we started talking. It was real nice and we became friends with eachother. We used to talk from time to time, nothing too big. I used to talk with her about my love life mostly and hear her opinion. In her last birthday I called to congrats her and we started talking again. A bit deeper this time. We agreed to meet at her house. It was a real fun time and we did it few more time. In one of them I found myself puking In front of her. We talked a lot, as well in texts and spent few ours each week. We had great chemistry. And our second meeting she told we she has a boyfriend and that she is dating him for the last few weeks. She was kind of embarrassed to tell me that. It that time I had no wish to be more than just a close friend to her. But then things got bad. She started to kind of touching me in ways that felt weird considering the fact she is dating someone. She told me she masturbated her boyfriend. I got no idea if it was on purpose. One day we went to the big city together and spent few hours having fun, laughing even though I felt bad that day. She seems to really open for me. I started to fall in love with her. Since then, I tried many times to meet with her and got really wishy but she kept lying and canceling a minute before we had to meet. One day I just came to her house and there were few girls there. She made me act as if I am angry at her (which I really were). At some part she just looked right into my eyes for few minutes. I kept sending her photos of thing she missing while not coming. Mostly food. In meanwhile I started to write a blog about her. About the fact I love her and wish I had every minute with her. One day when I was at her house she took me up to her bed room and told me she is cheating with her boyfriend's best friend on him. I told her that if I were him I would of wish her to tell me that, and she said she can never do that. Things got even harder and when we finally set to meet up and clear everything she turned it off because she was pissed and sad about something she did. I was really upset and angry as I really wished for this meeting. I called her pissed off and there was like quite for few minutes in the phone. I left the house in a storm without saying anything and went up to her house. I entered her too without her noticing and put the blog I wrote about her on her bed. I left with her knowing about me being there. She read it and sent me along text about it. The day after it seemed. Obvious we'll have to sit down and talk. We went somewhere on the street. Set down and talked. There were to main conclusions from that talk, she can't leave her boyfriend for me and she doesn't think the same as I do for her. She started playing the game with me. I didn't relay know how or why so I pretty much failed it. She broke up with her boyfriend and we have been a twisted on and off relations from then. She was mad at me, in was mad at her and the one who was mad at needed to try and talk to the other one. After not seeing each other for more than a month I came up to her after seeing her in the hallway and we entered the bathroom. She hugged me tight and said she missed me. Nothing happened more than that. I started to come to her house randomly and spend some time with her. We had a good time. For a second there it seemed it can really get some place. One day I tried to make her meet me but she kept ignoring my request and talked about bullshit, and lying to me. I got pissed all over her and started telling her she is full of shit and doesn't even know a clue, and some more bad things. It was a fight. On a game chat. She was really over-pissed from that fight and didn't agree to talk to me. I wrote her a goodbye letter and went down to give it to her. It said all that I wish for her and all that I think is going right now. She respond with and email who felt like an attack, saying she doesn't give a damn about anyone and lies so they'll leave her alone. I really tried not to talk to her and ignored her. One day I felt that I cannot take it anymore and went to her house. I came in, her mom called her of her room. After five minutes waiting she came out, saw me, said fuck you and give me the 3rd finger In front of her mom. I went to her room and there was a guy she was in the bed with. She started to excuse what she was doing and said that he's jus leaving, and they accedently fell asleep, and that they didn't do anything. She made it feel lie she was betraying on me even though we supposedly weren't together. I asked her if she wants me to go and she said it would bee nice of you. Five minutes later I found myself puking in the street. I went with my sister and her boyfriend outside and drank some beer. She sent me many sorry texts and I completely ignored her. In the next few months I ignore her when ever I saw her and acted like everything was fine without her. She kept staring at me when ever she could. She sent me tio sms from time to time trying to talk to me and even begging me to talk to her. Eventually I talked to her after seeing her one day and feeling real bad. She said she doesn't know what she want and that she felt jealous when she though I am with some other girl. She really think I was okay with out her and in tell I am falling apart. She says she is surprise bad interested of hearing. She said she is not happy that I am still stuck on her even though she shouldn't be feeling that way. Few days later I saw her. She walk right to me, grabbed me in chest and pushed me to the bathroom. Now, she goes into the girl's and I pull her into the boy's. We enter and she sites two meter away form me on the other wall. We end up going to the backyard and she tells me she only find 1 out of 5 guys attractive. She says she only want to be my friend and nothing more. We have a little idiotic texts fight about it. She ends up being a total slut and I end up missing around 100 days of school, and many more of days full with depression. I obviously don't want her anymore. Not as a girlfriend. But that is just my sense talking. I really know she is an idiotic childish slutty kid who doesn't know shit about life. She is going to fuck 600,000,000 people by calculating. I really care about her from some reason. I know she is completely wrong for me, but I fee like I need to help her, save her. And everyone around me tell me I need to let her go already. (Btw; I tried!) But it's just too hard. She is not what I though she is, not as I know her. She is becoming a monster. And she has some unexplained thing too me like have to her. It really sad to see what is she turning to. She dose have a potential to be better but she hurt me so much and brought me only misery and depression. She has too many sides to her. Like me. I don't know her anymore. And I really tried to change for her but I'm not really going to school so nothing really happens. And out relationship is such a mess. Looks horrible. And she is not mature enough to understand what she wants. And what is unethical and hurts the people who really lover her and care about her. Anyone can give me a good advise other then 'just let her go'?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, has a boyfriend, jealous, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fujina +, writes (15 April 2013):
Fujina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for responding.She does really have a big parents issue. She gets too much attention as an attempt to cover over years of parents fighting, police and less of care. I feel really bad for her acting like that, and it hurts even thinking of her doing such things. In someway she acts to me like I am her father or so.. That is one of the reasons it feels so bad abandoning her.I do have a deep understanding regarding psychological issues and the influence of parents on their children. I am not a typical 17 years old. Her parents have divorced few months ago. As for her they should been doing it when she was 4 years old. I do really hope it will not stay this way as she hurts herself and the people who care about her. I think I will give her a last chance of help and understanding and then just turn away from her life. The biggest question I have I my minds is when will the coin drop?P.s. she is most likely still a virgin.If you have anything else to say, it will be appreciated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): She is a young girl making bad choices. She is having sex too young, with too many different boys. She doesn't seem to have respect for herself or the people who care about her. You are only a kid, and you don't know how to fix her. It's not your responsibility.She needs parental guidance;, and without it, she will run wild until she ends up pregnant or with a sexually transmitted disease. Her parents don't seem to care what she does, she has no structure in her life. Her parents allow boys in the house and don't keep an eye on what she's doing.If you keep having sex with her, you could catch a sexually transmitted disease. Considering your age, you are exaggerating a bit. If she's as bad as you say; I'm surprised your parents let you hang out with her.She is acting out because she needs her parents to show her how to behave, and that they love her. That's their job, not yours. I know you feel sorry for her, but you don't have the experience to deal with the problems she has. She needs adult supervision and discipline. She is crying out for help by doing "slutty" things; but she is only a kid. Grownups have let her down.She doesn't know any better, and has no respect for herself.She has low self-esteem and let boys use her. She cheats on boys she claims are her boyfriend.I know you are sad for her, but there is nothing you can do except tell her what she is doing is bad for her. You can also tell your parents you are worried about her, and they can speak to her parents. They'll probably get angry, and she'll be angry at you. You must stop hanging around with her. She wants to break your heart on purpose.When teenagers don't listen to adults, or ignore the advice of their parents; they turn out like her.She is a bad influence, and until an adult intervenes in her life, she's going to end up pregnant with a very unhappy life.You should be hanging around nicer girls. It's only a matter of time, before she gets into a lot of trouble.You're not her father, you should be hanging aroundnicer kids. You have to let her go, or she will drag you down. There are a lot of things wrong in her life. So she is acting out by being the worse she can be; she needs her parents to show her discipline, they love her, and teach her to love herself.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): Hello, this answer is not to hurt feelings here, for anyone offended by my words, I am completely sorry and ask for forgiveness.When I was 14, I've acted like her (As a slut.) and I only stopped it when someone I truly cared for asked me to stop, it took a while for me to get use to it since I LOVED sex and I LOVED flirting, even with the ladies3I believe you should let her be herself until she realises what she's done, sure it might take 1-3 years but hey, it teaches her a lesson and will make her become wiser and put more thought before she does anything that may lead to trouble. I recommend you should tell how you feel about her lying, (depends how you still feel for her) and leave her for a while, she may need a break. If she replies to you in a angry expression, don't say anything, it'll make her think about it, perhaps make her grow anger on you but it'll help her realise. And I also believe you should meet new women, this girl you have here sounds like my friend here, and you have NO clue how much men fall for her and doesn't know she messes about 2 men at night, cybers 9001 times for the day, and flirts with guys all morning!!! and don't get me started on what she lies about.But it's all up to you, remember that, and good luck!
...............................
|
