A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This one is a bit crazy but need help. I have fallen in love with a girl whos in a relationship, which is not fulfilling her needs properly. We became good friends with me not hiding the fact that i liked her and vice versa but nothing happended as she had a boyfriend this didnt stop the flirting. It developed and became mind blowing for both of us but very destructive and secretive and messed up our heads. she is manipulative and can be selfish and spoilt and has no backbone her fella lets her get away with this and treats her like a princess but she is bored and no longer in love. They dont have any kids nor living together yet although he is keen. He is considerably older than her and is her security and reliable, their sex life is practically none existant. Well she has met her match in me in that we are the same and i dont put up with her crap, we are also soulmates/friends and this has blown our lives and minds apart especially with the sneaking round as we both want much more. we have agreed to break off what we are dooing a few times for sake of us both and her partner as we both know its wrong but the feelings are so strong it doesnt last. She is deeply concerned if she left him he would kill himself or she would come to harm. She also comes from a good catholic background and is worried to death about peoples/familys extended familys reactions dissapointments if she could end it and if i really would take her on. We hadnt seen each other for a couple of months and broke off as much contact. But we talked a couple of times and teased a bit the last couple of days which was bad as she said she didnt want to make things hard again which i agreed with when we split last but thats her head i think not her heart. Anyhow she sneaked round over weekend for dinner/catch up something we dont do as it is normally snatched moments of lust when we are both weak every cople of weeks. She realises that i am getting strong again and will not wait for her anymore. Problem is now after this visit my house is trashed from all the intense sex we have had and she stayed o/n and did some couply things and bonded more than ever. She is madly in love too and we have unprotected sex she aint on pill. She said she wants to spend so much time with me but carnt. She also told me not to put my life on hold but will hate it if I date other girls? I think this is a way taking the decision making out of her hands as is the unprotected sex (she gets pregnant) or i choose to move on. i am now feelin guilty again but want her. She is probably feelin really confused/guilty now bout whats just happened/wanting me too. I know we wont talk now for a few days cos we both dont understand what the hell just happened and we both know we cannot carry on like this but we are soul mates. We know that this wont go away. Do you think she will stay in this unfullfilling relationship that shes not happy with? I think she is confused as hell? Would love your advice. Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (3 September 2007):
 You are getting one side of the story here, i wonder how her boyfriend would describe their relationship and sex life.They have no children and do not live together, so tell me apart from upsetting some family members why does she want to stay in a relationship that she is supposedly unhappy in?Maybe he can't give her children and she is using you, sorry to say this but you have to consider all possibilities, what if her boyfriend has an std and she has passed it onto you?She does not want you to put your life on hold but would hate it if you started seeing someone else, emotional blackmail i think.Too right she is manipulative and selfish, she wants everything her way and has no respect or consideration for either you or her boyfriend, step back and think how you would feel if you were her boyfriend.Babe if i were you i would give her an ultimatum, and if she chooses to stay with her boyfriend you cut all ties and move on with your life, find someone that will think of you aswell as themselves.Take care.xx.
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