A
male
age
41-50,
*r8Guy
writes:Hi, I had a girlfriend. We had problems with communications. Many times When call her, she will not answer or return my calls. However, when she needs my help she will call and I will quickly answer the call.I have called her on this. She says that she is sorry but keeps repeating the same thing.She even complained once that i was pressuring her into answering my calls. One day when she called I decided to pay her back in her own coins. I didnt answer or return the call. She called the next day feeling very hurt as when she called my house number a female flat mate answered the phone and told her i was not around. I told her i was busy.Following this, we seperated. Later i hooked up with someone else. I sent her a text telling her so. She called me congratulating me about this. She would call me from time asking me for advice with some of her work. I felt we could just remain friends since i do like talking with her. She asked me when i would be coming to her neighbourhood. I told her when. She said she would like us to meet up for dinner. When travelling i tried calling her twice and sent a text. she did not reply. when i returned from the trip i called her with my second phone number (which she didnt have). She could not pick up the call but returned the call within a minute. She was surprised to see it was me. Again she apologised for not returning my call. I told her that i had a business proposal that i wanted to give her( she has a business which she needs some funding help with). I then quickly told her that i need to go as I have another call.Since, this is her behaviour and it appears that she is not willing to change, I am wondering if i should send her an e-mail, telling her how dissapointed I am with her behaviour of not returning my calls when we have an appointment or if i should just forget about her and move on with my life. The fact that she found it quicker to return a call from a number that she did not know in 2 minutes but was too busy to answer my call and text sent after more than a week tells a lot about her respect for me. I was just wondering if it will be more productive telling her how i feel and getting it off my chest or more dignifiable just forgetting about it and just refuse to answer her call when next she calls since i have told her about it before.Gr8guy
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flatmate, move on, neighbour, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): I think you have shown her disrespect. Number one she felt pressured by you to answer your calls, perhaps it did not mean anything that she did not answer your call other than she was busy or did not have time to talk to you.
Cell phones have made people crazy over this kind of stuff, we have become so demanding and entitled due to the speed of everything, we have become like little children who have no impulse control, no patience for waiting for things and we expect our shit should be taken care of in less than 10 secs.
I can tell you are victim to this kind of mentality by the games you have played with her. How rude of you to call and brag about hooking up with a girl and then she calls you back to congratulate YOU? I am sure she was trying to let you know what a jerk you were at that moment, but actually thought you were of character enough to get her underhanded compliment, but you are so screwed up it went right over your head.
I think you have gotten what you deserve quite frankly, you have not treated her with respect, you behaved like a child and you intentionally tried to hurt her feelings. I would have stopped taking your calls too.
Don't send her an email telling her how disappointed you are in her, it is childish, just leave her alone, you don't care for her and she doesn't like you much either...she is tolerating you because of what you can do for her with her business and you are using the business funding as your ace to have control over her.
Just move on and bother someone else. I am sorry to shock you out of your misguided thinking, but I call it as I see it.
A
male
reader, gr8Guy +, writes (11 February 2009):
gr8Guy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone (esp Nokutenda), Your responses have been very helpful. I find it easy to give people advice in similar situations but cant think clearly when i'm in one. Its easier to see what is happening when you are outside a situation yourself. I'm moving on. I wish I had stumbled on this website earlier. Thanks again allGr8Guy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Move on. It's not going anywhere except round in destructive little circles. You're wasting your time with this girl.
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A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (11 February 2009):
l think its best to just move on with your life, you deserve so much better. telling her how you feel will not help anything as you have already told her and hasn't changed.she does this to you because she knows she can, you are the only one who can put a stop to this.she doesn't care about your feelings that's why she doesn't bother calling or answering her phone and she may be doing that in the hopes that you will be disappointed and not call her again.don't contact her again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): If you get a missed call from an unknown number on your phone it's always tempting to call back to see who it is or what you've missed. It's called curiosity. I'm guessing, but if she knew it was you she probably wouldn't have answered that call.
Time to move on I think.
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