A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not too long ago I took an interest in a young woman attending my college, at first she appeared to be ideal; funny, athletic, attractive, terribly intelligent, and best of all modest. I admit I beat around the bush for a while, I tried to be a friend first, spending time with her in a casual, non-invasive way. A few weeks ago I felt ready to approach her in a more personal fashion, but before I could some troubling news broke.The reason I had never seen her with another guy is becasue she never extends herself longer than a day or two. While we were hanging out she had been with nearly a dozen random partners (in only 3 months).The problem is I'm still attracted to her becuase I can't seem to shake that fake little halo off her head. In my mind she's still too good to be true.I have no interest in someone who "just wants to have fun" what can I do to get over this fake impression of her.BTW I'm a bit on the shy side meeting new people is especially hard for me.
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female
reader, Jmo +, writes (10 January 2009):
 You don't have a fake impression of her. You have already stated that you"have no interest in someone who "just wants to have fun". You can't really change that. You might be attracted to her because you're shy and she is not. She could embody something that you admire, but at the same time be in a lifestyle you're not really comfortable with. You're in college, a lot of people want to keeps things casual. In college there's already enough obligations and she, "just wants to have fun". If what you're seeking is a steady long term relationship, it's not her. That doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with her, however. Hanging out with someone like that (in a plutonic way) can help you overcome your shyness around the girlies.
-Jmo
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