A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My new girlfriend is what i thought was just plain shy towards me but my sister has found out that her ex boyfreind attacked her when she went to stay at his house and that he punched her in the back when she told him that she did not feel well to have sex with him and that this would have been the first time that they would have had sex and dont think that they ever did have sex together, do i tell her what my sister has said to me and if i do what do i say to her that i am not like her ex boyfriend as i would never hit anybody let alone a lady and if i dont tell her what my sister said to me how do i get her trust in me.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 November 2014):
 I think having a relationship with her can be a gamble because you never know when a traumatized person fully recovers and will be ready for a relationship.
It sounds like your girlfriend knew your sister first, and she feels comfortable to confide in a woman. Otherwise she would have told you this already. Words are useless so only time can make her trust you. If you bring this up you might make her think that you want sex and is impatient for her to get ready. She has to be interested in a sexual relationship too. Unless your have no priority in sex then this is not a problem. Before you want to play the knight in the shining armor, if I were you I would question what is in it for me, before I assume that role. I am not a man but I have the mentality of, "if you are not ready for a relationship and let past issues bother you then what's the point of carrying on?" It's her responsibility to get help, therapy before entering a relationship. It's not a healthy thing to always suspect that a guy would victimize her. You could sympathize with her as a friend but as a lover you can only expect very little.
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