A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been close to this girl,(17, me 22), for a while now and we talk everyday. she is my second cousin, but there has always been something special between us. we are pretty close to each other and share almost everything and say we love each other(though long distance). she is pretty mature than her age and a sweetheart to be with. she shows concern and care towards me and is more active than me and the saviour of this relationship(she initiates everything and calls to say i love you and texts all the time). we are not officially dating yet but enjoying the flow of things however weird someone might think it is and we are cool with the stuff .i hate her bitchy behaviour these days when she says she is attracted to this guy and how he made her day by making her feel so special. she doesn't lie or hide anything from me and even tells me the sillest things of her day and i appreciate her for that but she seems to be amused by my reaction. i am beginning to realise that she is kind of a girl who would be attracted to every random guy who will make her laugh and she has become quite distant from me giving excuses and saying she has an important call to make etc etc. but when she will call me she will show love,affection and CLOSURE giving me no reason to say anything as we aren't dating. she is quite melodramatic and wants to cut the cake and have it too. she wants to have fun with others but also doesn't want to lose me and just wants to settle the dust at the end of the day by showing love. what do you think is happening ?? it is all so messed up and i dont know how to react. if i react she might think i am needy and she is already seeing mood fluctuations in my behavious and is enjoying it i guess...please advice
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 hi
do your families know you two have feeling for each other? when you say she texts that she loves you, what does she mean by this? does she feel the same as you or does she mean loves you like a friend? is she aware that you love her in a more than friendly way? if she feels friend love, then she is
within her rights to tell you about other guys and she probably feels she is doing nothing wrong, doesn't know it makes you jealous etc, just like when we talk to a mate.
if she does feel the same way as you do then she could be behaving like this to deliberatly make you jealous to either prod you into making a move romantically and admitting your feelings or just to be cruel. NOT A GOOD SIGN. she is young though and may feel that jealousy is the way to get more adoration from you.
if you do start a relationship with your second cousin (think VERY carefully about this) any child you would have in the future would have a chance of birth defects, obviously the closer the blood relation the higher the risk. would your families accept you as a couple?
getting back to the present though.. she is 17 and is at an age probably where she is meeting lots of new guys and getting to go different places,and she is loving the new attention, so i would suggest you do the same, broaden your life a bit, it'll help you put this relationship into perspective
xx
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