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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is a two part question so might be a bit confessing.My girlfriend (of 2 years) had a very abusive ex-boyfriend (he physically and emotionally abused her) and she's afraid I hit her as well. I honestly wouldn't because it isn't right. I think shes insecure about her body because I never saw her naked. When we do make out (which is very rare) she wont even let me get close to her bra (she let me see her breasts either.) Im trying not to pressure her but im losing it. What do I do?
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female
reader, JSB1993  +, writes (3 January 2009):
It's important to understand what this person(monster) has done to her, there are going to be scars with her and she will understandably find it very hard to trust you. It may feel like its not going to get better but it will, you just have to pay her compliments and be extremely gentle with her when you do make out. It's important to hold her and look at her and speak to her in the right way to make her feel confident, the more confident you make her feel the more she will begin to trust you. When you go out, hold her and show her off and let her know your proud to be with her, its important to not keep ssecrets between eachother either so maybe working on the relationship and becoming closer will make you closer physically.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Patience is key, but I think she could seriously benefit from some counseling. She will ruin any future relationship if she keeps living in the past. She obviously don't trust herself to find a man that treats her right and now that she has she might believe she doesn't deserve you.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): Hey, this is very sad. There is no real answer to deal with this. You need to be very patient and let her take things at her own pace. It might be wise for her to recieve some counsiling and maybe you could even go with her, if she's comfortable with this.
I was raped 5 years ago, it took me a long while to recover from this. It's always going to be with me, but I can now enjoy a normal, healthy, active sex life. It's a different situation I was subjected to a violent attack from a complete stranger. It sounds like she was subjected to systamatic abuse from a complete bully. I'm not an expert, but I guess that might be harder to overcome. I'm sure with the right help, she may not completely recover, but she may be able to lead a relatively normal life.
Hope this helps, good luck.
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