A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a very confusing situation at the moment. Long story so here goes.I had an affair with someone for just over a year. We were both married and had young children. We both fell desperately in love. I couldn't carry on with my wife so I left. Not to be with the other woman as that was not an option at the time. I purely knew that I couldnt love my wife if I was seeing someone else and had those feelings for us. This was only a few months in to the affair.Anyway the affair continued with her staying with her husband. She told me that their relationship really was in pieces. However, they continued of course to go on family holidays together etc. But I became increasingly jealous of the situation, even though they had little or no intimacy together according to her, and told her that I could not carry on seeing her whilst she was with her husband. She thought about it long and hard and decided to give it another go with her husband, but didnt tell him about us even though he asked on a few occasions.I understand her decision on one level. I was about to loose my job, had no permanent place to live as I was going through the financial settlement of my divorce.However, during our early break up we carried on seeing each other, texting and speaking to each other. It never felt real. There were even tears from her whenever we got intimant. To cut a long story short, whilst she was trying again with her husband she got pregnant. She told me in floods of tears and said at the time she regretted it. We spent time apart for a while, but now we continue to speak to each other, meet up etc and the same feelings are still there. There is no physical relationship but it is an emotional relationship. I now have a job, place to live and am far more stable. I just really do not know what to do now. I don't fully understand why she is still in contact, whether there is any future. I would still get together with her as I have never felt this way about someone before.Does anyone have any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Bad, bad medicine, my friend. Bow out gracefully and move onto an available woman.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 June 2010):
You have been used to prop up her relationship, and now that she is having a baby with her husband, the truth is there is no way this will work out. End it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Brother
There is no future with her. Leave her to his hubby and kids. focus on your marriage and be happy.
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (12 June 2010):
 If she has not left him in over a year, and is now pregnant with his child, she is not going to leave. however much she feels for you, she clearly loves him too, or needs the family unit and stability which he provides. either way you need to walk away before you get hurt, and before you consider having an affair with a woman who is pregnant with another mans child. that baby deserves a chance at a family, and she obviously wants the baby or she would have either been using birth control or would have taken the morning after pill or something. I wish you the best of luck at finding true happiness elsewhere, with a woman who can give herself to you completely. x
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