A
male
age
41-50,
*ustanotherguy
writes:How can I help my wife to lose weight?I have been married for about 6 years and we have kids. When I first met my wife she was extremely beautiful/attractive and at a reasonable weight. During our engagement and the first few years after our marriage she put on about 80 pounds. I still love her very much, but I'm just not physically attracted any more, and I think it affects a lot of different areas in our life.I know she doesn't like the fact that she's gained so much weight, but it seems like she only makes half-hearted attempts once or twice a year to do anything about it. I personally am the kind of person that pays very close attention to my diet, I get a lot of exercise, etc., so it's hard for me to watch her eat unhealthy foods and not get much exercise.I really miss the girl that I fell in love with. Is there any hope of getting her back?Thanks for your advice.
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (11 June 2007):
Encourage her to go for walks with you, and make healthy meals for you both. Ive never met a woman who wants to be told shes overweight...so i guess you just have to be gentle and loving about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Your wife is probably an emotional eater, did she stop working when you all had kids? Does she feel isolated and alone talking to toddlers and little kids and long for some adult interaction?
I would address first these issues of what can be done to make your wife feel more engaged in her own life, because my bet is she is lonely and depressed, marriage is not a cure for any of that and sometimes women feel lonelier in a marriage than when they were single....Talk to her about the subject, show her you care and then go from there.
After she makes those changes in her life she will feel more motivated, start taking long walks together after work to get her started even if it means not doing something you wanted to do, and offer to cook for her, buy a cookbook with delicious healthful low fat recipes, they are out there....to lose weight she needs to weigh her food and keep track of calories, reduce her daily intake to 1200-1300 calories from all 4 food groups, it is not true that carbs are bad, it is the calories that get you...she may be addicted to sugary sodas, if she stops drinking those she will immediately lose about 20 pounds...eliminate high fructose corn syrup in all of your foods, because it interferes with a naturally occurring hormone in your brain that signals your body when it is full....sugar is better, high fructose corn syrup is in a lot of our processed foods, peanut butter, (buy natural) katsup, crackers, cereal, spaghetti sauce (buy Bertolli's or Paul Newman's) fruit juices (like ocean spray cranapple) sodas, lemonade, sweet tea, and the list goes on an on, read the food labels and avoid it like the plague.....
Other than that it is really up to her....she may find it easier to lose if she joins Weight Watchers because they have an easy system and you get some outside coaching and support.....
It is important to keep yourself attractive for your partner, tell her that you keep yourself looking good for her and want her to be around for a long time, she is more susceptible to Type II Diabetes and Heart Disease if she is overweight.
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