A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys,need advise on how to move on from a woman who rejected me a few years back, we stayed friends for a while, but unfortunately some truths had to be said which made her lose trust in me, but the truth actually helped her navigate a few things in life, and i honestly believe i helped her in some way. She blocked me on social media without ever talking about what happened i respected that and left her alone, I would still look into her without talking to her directly, we reached a certain point where we had a cordial friendship. Now a new guy came into our work place and started dating her, he is a friend of mine, he asked me a few things about her past which i would not divulge but he kept on asking and i kept on refusing, all i said was she will tell you her self and i never broke the trust which i had with her. Well he went and started interrogating the girl to find out what happened between us and she came furious to me via social media after 3 years of blocking me, accusing me of spreading lies about her, which i never i did. Well now all i want is not to care for this woman and finally move on, I want to work on my self physically and become the best version of my self. How do i do it when i see her at work all the time? I still have feelings for her but i want to reach a point where i have zero feelings her, and i do not want her to come back, because i treated this woman very well when we where friends always looking out for her even when she didn't realise it but i deserve better. what should i do?
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at work, her past, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2023): It sounds like your guy friend is the one who stirred the pot by thinking he had to know every detail about you two’s history. I don’t get how that would make her think you’re spreading lies, though, especially since you told him nothing at all, let alone any lies. She sounds like a drama queen, and he sounds insecure.
As far as moving on goes, block her on everything, don’t look her up, and don’t speak to her again outside of work, under any circumstance. And look for another job, because unfortunately, it sounds like neither one of them are going to leave you out of their relationship. No matter what you say, it will be “wrong” in their eyes. Make it clear you won’t be discussing it with either if them going forward. Then stand by it. Haven’t they caused you enough trouble? Until you can find another job, simply refuse to talk about non-work related things with them.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (7 June 2023):
 Well this is the problem of dating someone you work with, when things go sour you then have to see this person every day, not giving you the chance to get over the relationship.
I think one of you has to leave and find work elsware, or block your feelings for her, accept its over and get on with your job. With her working with you easier said than done i know.
Time is the healer of all things, and things will get easier over time.
Getting over her all starts with you. Yo have to accept its over and get on with your life.
As i said, if you can't do this you really should contemplate another job.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (7 June 2023):
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2023): It's been a few years, she moved on. That's why she's dating someone else. I'm not really sure if you two were dating at all, we're you? It sounds like you were friends (work friends) if I'm understanding correctly. She wanted to keep things like they were. By that, I can imagine she wanted to keep a professional distance or she wanted ro reap the benefits of friendship without the privilege of sex. Don't ever allow a woman to do that to you again.
Don't try to date coworkers, your current experience is why. Don't try to turn a friendship into a relationship, learn to leave things alone when they're food. If you do decide to take the plunge and she wants to be just friends, cut back on the friendship. That means only talk about surface stuff, nothing personal or deep. If she wants to hang out one on one, shut it down and remind her that you're just friends. She wants to vent or confide? Find s female friend for that. Romantic life? Nope steer clear. A woman loses those privileges when she friendzones you. If she asks why you're acting like that, treating her differently, explain that you've simply stopped courting her since you're just friends. If she cops an attitude, just smile and say she can get all that from a guy who chooses to court her - point out that all that you were doing is known as courting and you won't be doing that anymore.
As of now? Dude. She blocked you on social media bc she didn't want you to read up on her. You're BROKEN UP or, never were dating. Since she works with you, she couldn't completely cut you off as she would have liked. She's not dumb and she has friends. They told her you were digging around on her. That creeper her out. How long were you two working together? How long were you friends with Dude? A true friend wouldn't date someone you like like that. Her getting angry at lies about her is all here say and her words against yours. Disengage. You did good not talking about her.
Maybe look for a new job and YOU cut her off
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