A
male
age
41-50,
*tupidGuyOhyes
writes:Okay!I need help!What do I do?!My girlfriend is cheating. How do I know? i just know. As I write this I know she is with another guy. She told me she had to go to a 2 day conference which she is currently at. Anyways she left yesterday morning. I hadn't heard from her all day and when I phoned at night her phone rang out. When I tried to phone again her phone was off. Then this morning when I phoned her phone was still off. I tried to phone again tonight and her phone rang out and then when I phoned again her phone was off. I haven't had a single message or phone call from her. I have loads more. I've caught her out. On dating websites, etc. I know she's cheating. My gut is telling me she is. The thing is I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER AND ADORE HER!And I know when she gets back she's just going to feed me another BS story!But I want to make the break! I've had enough, but what do I do?! Where do I start? Please help?! Thank you to everyone! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 Have you decided yet that you are being used as a backstop, not really a true boyfriend? Please don't wait around to be sufficiently told she doesn't want you any more. Move on. The fire has lost its glow. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): Just text her "welcome to dumpsville population you" see if she rings then! Seriously though I think everyone knows that type I've had the misfortune to know two! Dump her and do it quick no chats or maybe we could work it out's or staying friends she's nearly on ther lowest form of life and if you let it go on you'll find she uses you some more for a while then finishes with you. Go find someone who isn't a disloyal lier and cheat
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Dude, there you go, all the evidence you need, the only reason she's calling is because she knows you're going frantic and she's trying to cover her ass but she won't talk to you!
Like I said before, time to let go! A woman who will do this to you not to mention it's not a safe world out there and there are diseases if they're not playing safe.
She's having sex with someone else, let that resound in your head an give you the anger and strength to finally break the bond she has over you
Respect to you and good luck buddy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Its easier than you think! Dump her cheating ass.Im sorry but if i rang my partner and it rang out, then rang again and it was off, id get the hint.She doesnt want to talk to you because shes got something she thinks is better to be doing.If you dont dump her, she will dump you eventually for someone else shes been cheating on you with.That is proven by her intrest in dating websites, shes looking for something better.best thing you can do is wait for her to get home, confront her face to face, say that you know shes been unfaithful especially on dating websites and whether or not she admits to being with someone else, you deserve better than that anyway.Say youve had enough, and its over. simple.It will hurt like crazy because you still love her, but do not tell her that or she will see a window of opportunity to minipulate you. Do not fall for it.Just keep imagining her F'ing some other guy, that should be enough to turn your stomache and stick to your guns.
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A
male
reader, StupidGuyOhyes +, writes (14 September 2012):
StupidGuyOhyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, so just an update for everyone! She phoned last night but hung up quickly. Like a 'one ringer'. When I called back she didn't answer. I then skyped her. Nothing. Anyway she then text asking if I was okay and why hadn't I returned any of her calls or texts!!! This is total lies!!! She hasn't. She then told me in the text she had forgot her charger and that she was trying to keep some power in it and she'd buy one this morning. I phoned again but she didn't answer. She then text me at 3 am this morning asking again if I was okay? I phoned and again she didn't answer. Now this is the good bit! I text her asking the hotel she was staying in and the room number and I could phone the hotel and we could talk. She text me back going ballistic saying she wasn't with anyone. Can I point out I've never mentioned this to her or accused her. I ignored her text and thought I'd leave it until this morning. Anyway she text me this morning saying she wasn't staying at a hotel now but staying at a female friends! I am quite simply being played for a fool!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Put it like this buddy because I know you are angry and hurt at this moment but when she comes back you'll probably melt and give way. She doesn't love you, the fact you've caught her on dating sites and the fact that despite you even knowing she's cheating and she's still going out and doing it anyway shows how much she doesn't care.
And why do you care? You love and adore her, even when she's on dating websites looking for someone else? Where is your pride man?!
You learn to love and respect yourself before you can love and respect someone else and this is important because the second someone disrespects you, you should go "No I'm not having you do this to me I deserve better! Time for you to go"
When she gets back don't answer your phone, try to avoid her if you can, it will be hard becuase the tendency is to look at your phone every two seconds but think of it like this, she'll be blowing up your phone when she gets home but didn't answer for two days while she was most likely with another man. Use that as the source of inspiration for finally getting this woman out of your life.
You're old enough and should be much more of a man about finally getting rid of someone who tramples all over your dignity.
You think you wont find someone else, go ahead and join a dating site and see how many women out there will get with you!
Good luck and please update and tell us what she did when she got back
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A
female
reader, lillady1976 +, writes (14 September 2012):
 The phone deal when you call her is a definite sign that she is cheating. You need to make a date with her or see her at her place and calmly sit down and tell her that your relationship is over. Don't get into an argument or pissing contest. Just break it down real simple. Tell her you know that her heart is not into the relationship anymore and that you know she is seeing someone behind your back. Tell her that you deserve more than that and its time to part ways. Then leave. Don't argue or cry and plead with her. Just leave and don't look back. Then, change up your routine. Meaning, don't go places where you know you will run into her,don't question your or her friends about her.Nothing.Clean break.
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (14 September 2012):
First of all, it takes two people to have a relationship. If she is not there mentally and emotionally, you do not have a girlfriend, you have a person who is with you from time to time. You either face the situation honestly, by asking her what is going on. Have a conversation in a neutral place, where you both can talk freely. Do not keep going along with these unresolved questions, you will drive yourself wild. Decide what you want to do, if she is cheating, do you want to end it, or try to improve or correct the situation? It is possible that she does not love you anymore, what is your decision? Get your head around it and think it through, then have the conversation. I want a person who wants me. My self-esteem requires it. If she is gone, you don't have her anyway. Think about it. Be real with the situation. We all go through difficult relationship problems, but you have to do what is best for you. You must be your own best friend.
Very important in life. Good luck.
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