A
male
age
41-50,
*hrisG4669
writes:Hey people, I was just hoping for an opinion here.I met my current gf about 6 or 7 wekks ago, and she lives in a different city so I only get to see her some weekends. I've recetly come to the realisation that I have some underlying personality issues that I'm hoping to resolve, in that I come across as needy and almost obsessive all the time. It's not really anybodyies fault, and I can't think where this behaviour comes from, but It is going hand in hand with some other depressive problems I am experiencing.Now, I'm working on resolving these issues, but I fear it is too late. We started of great, and have more in common than most would believe. She's beutiful, fantastic, ad everythign I could want. She's very independant though, and though we started off great, I've started contacting her all the time, to an obsessiev level. Anyway, this past few days, she's been excessively distant, and is obviously being thrown by the constant need for approval and reassurance. She asked me today not contact her for a while, not write, or txt or anything till she calls me.Am I too late in reaching this decision to "fix" this hole I feel. I have an appointment with my GP this friday, to talk about other health concerns, and I will start the road of prefessional or medical assitance while I resolve these issues. I'm looking at hobbies an distractions to learn to lvoe myself more. But Have I pushed her out of my life completely?Damn, I wish I could just CHILL! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Hi there, Im glad youre taking steps to get your personal issues sorted out. A lot of people dont have the guts to admit when there is a problem.
I agree with what has already been written here, You may have pushed her away. The best thing you can do right now is just give her the space she needs, and concentrate on yourself. Youre going through something, so this may be a good time to step back and just think about you. Make sure she can contact you if she wants, and if she does you could try to explain why you reacted the way you did. Otherwise you need to give her space and carry on.
I really hope you get everything sorted out. Take care xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): You might have, honestly. It's hard to get un-creeped-out by someone who's being clingy.
Honestly, the best way to deal with it is to impose a self-directed moratorium on contacting her. Let her contact you. It's easy to get into this cycle of acting the fool, feeling embarrassed, which makes you feel worse and need validation, and then contacting her again, like that scene in Swingers with the answering machine.
Just put the phone down. Trust me, it gets better with time, and right now, you just need to stop. It doesn't matter what you do in the meantime, as long as it isn't contacting her.
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