A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, I have a problem, im not sure if its myself, the way my gf behaves or a combination of the two? she says i have been getting more insecure recently, i have not really noticed this in myself, what i have noticed is that shes being more defencive with how she conducts herself. Hiding the phone, changing passwords, putting pin numbers on sections of her phone and wont let me use it to dial home when i have no signal anymore. She has also been keeping it out of sight more too, keeping her laptop away, hushing her parents when they chime in after iv asked about her day (her mum always has something to say and is very catty) etc...She logged onto facebook on my phone after begging me to log her on, while we where at her own house, she was just too lazy to bother getting her laptop. She logs on and sees 1 new inbox message, she highlights it saying oooh i wonder who it is, the looks through the rest of her facebook, comes back to the inbox and says, i wont open it, maybe tomorrow. Now this seems like shes rubbing it in my face. I go to the loo and log back onto facebook, she was the last user, so phone logs her in, i see the message, piqued by my curiosity i look to see who it is, it was 'z', a guy she had/has a huge crush on, kissed 4 months into our 10 month rel and let him look up her skirt, grope and generally perv her out infront of her cousin-inlaw at a club while i wasnt there. My gf told me about the looking up the skirt, but her cousin ratted her out 2 weeks later at a family do...because of that im not allowed to have much unaccompanied contact with her cousin-inlaw anymore, my gf picked me over him because he was too forcefull and hes in the army, n they dont have a good record for not cheating. Now i see her talking to this guy on facebook, i didnt bother to open it incase it was too hurtfull, so i ask her if she had spoke to 'z' recently, she says flat out no, the message was from a club group she joined up to. I go home after this and think on it more, why would she lie? I go on facebook on my phone to change the acc over to mine and discover that she changed her password and it caused my phone to crash out. I asked her when she did it and she said ages ago...i tell her not what my phone says, and she asks me if im calling her a liar and she states she hates liars, and all the usual self righteous crud she spews out with it. In the end i call her out on lying after giving her chances to come out with it, i dont mind her talking to 'z' as a friend, but im not ok when she lies about it. She said that she lied because i asked too many questions about him when she does get a text from him, i remind her that iv caught her text flirting with 'z' aswell and that she and her mum are terrible liars, specially when their stories arent straight. She asks me why i dont trust her, i tell her that its because of the way shes being and the fact she just recently started talking to her ex, bout 3 months into the relationship, who has been harrassing me since, she wont let me talk to him, let alone meet him if they are going to be friends, she sticks up for him saying that himtaking the micky out of me is his way of having fun and im to ignore it...not when he harrasses my mum telling her im a pedo, me and my gf are both 22. I also tell her the 'z' story too, that she kept it from me for a while, and probably wouldnt tell me if her cousing didnt. today she got a text on her phone, i try and be mindful of her knowing i have some concerns. She dosent pick it up and see who it its right away, like she normally does. I go to the loo and come back, the phone is on the seat, i ask her if it was my imagination or did she get a text, she says maybe, i ask her was it anything important? She says no, so i drop it, about half hour later she asks me i bet ur dying to know who it is and who text me...is it my ex? Is it 'z'? You wont know....i said that i wont know because im trying hard not to ask who it was like i normally do and be concerned she didnt pick up rigt away n waited till i wasnt present to check her phone. She asks me why i dont trust her again, i repeat why if anything why i think i have trouble. 'z', the ex, the way she behaves, and my wanting to know, i dont like suprises and thus dont like not knowing. Is this because shes trying to keep me at a distance so she can start conducting unfaithful business behind my back for when 'z' returns back from iraq?Sorry if this rant/problem is too long, would like ur guys's input. Would be very much appreciated. X
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cousin, crush, facebook, flirt, her ex, insecure, liar, my ex, she lies, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lovebaby126  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 damn. that girl is messed up hun.. you need to either sit her down and tell her to fess up or leave her ass..believe me i am a girl i know all these little tricks we do to get guys out of our buisness..im not saying she is cheating..but girls have needs and sometimes you can get them all from one guy so they get them from another guy also...they might not be quote on quote "cheating" but more then likely it is flirting and sexually talking..im not gonna lie... make her explain herself don't feel bad at all if you sound forceful you need to make her no you do not feel comfortable with the situation and make her choose what needs to be done.. im not harsh..just very blunt and honest.hope it works out message me if you need to talk more always here to help3 lovebaby
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