A
male
age
30-35,
*hawn1237
writes:Hello all, and thank you for reading this in advance. I feel like a rather foolish boyfriend. You see, 2 months ago I ended a rather horrible relationship. My girlfriend treated me like garbage. She put me off for her friends, ignored me, and would forget about talking to me numerous times. Well, I'm now in a fantastic new relationship. My new girlfriend is great! The opposite of my previous girlfriend. It's just I get these paranoid feelings that she will start ignoring me, putting me off, or forgetting about me like my last girlfriend was. She obviously doesn't do this. She truly loves me and would never do that to me. She has stated this many times. I just can't help but still get these feelings though, even with her reassurance that she isn't like that. I know she is not like that. I just get these feelings though, and it confuses the hell out of me. I don't know what I can do to kick these paranoid thoughts. Any ideas guys?
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Well, it's normal to actually feel like this...after a bad experience, some of us tend to worry that we'll go right into something similar...again. So when you get these thoughts, take a deep breath and remind yourself that she is not your ex and never will be. If she's close to you at the time these thoughts occur, give her hand a small squeeze, kiss her cheek, or just smile at her-immerse yourself in the reality that she is with YOU and apparently, committed to YOU. If she's not, grab your phone, look at her picture...old texts she sent you and remind yourself that this girl is not like your ex. So don't let these doubts get in the way. They'll go away as your bond with this girl becomes stronger. After all, the longer you have something...the less you fear it will be taken away, the trick is: still not taking it for granted :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): well done that you have moved on from your abusive ex.And all power to you that you have found a great new Gf. This is a good choice on your part. Your new Gf is a whole different person. Clear out your negative thoughts and put your trust in your new Gf. Otherwise your negativity will taint this beautiful new relationship.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (25 April 2011):
You gotta build your own self confidence and belief in yourself. That will stop you being insecure and needy. At the moment you don't think yourself good enough for this great girl to be your girlfriend. If you continue with the needyness, she will quickly loose attraction to you and eventually start putting you second best in her life. Build your confidence by doing things to improve yourself, fitness, health, working out and other things, doing well at education, learning, investing time in your hobbies and interests. All these things will help you be a better, more confident guy and it is that which will keep your girlfriend interested in you.
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A
male
reader, wiseguy +, writes (25 April 2011):
My guess is, she WILL do the same as your previous girlfriend.Unless you make some serious changes to the way you interact with girls. Fast!Look, no girl wants to be with a guy who is desperate for her. In fact, what attracts girls is a guy who does NOT need her, a guy who has a life of his own, a guy who interacts with her as if HE is too good for her (not in a jerk kind of way, but in a teasing kind of way).You say "...and would never do that to me. She has stated this many times". Well, that means you have asked her many times, and dude, that is NOT attractive!Never ask a woman if she likes you, or will leave you etc.That shows weakness, and women don't like that. Nature has designed women to run away from weak guys.In fact, you should do just the opposite. You should be teasing her by saying things like, "So give me 3 reasons why a hot guy like me should be with a girl like you" That's the kind of talk girls like.
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