A
male
age
36-40,
*ntlive647
writes:I wanna start by saying that im a 25 year old male from ct. I've been dating this girl for the past year and a half and I knew not to get involved from day one. When I met her she was in a relationship for about a month with a guy almost an hour away. She told me that he didn't mind if she hung out with other guys (clearly a lie). We went to the bar that night and once the drinking started she was kissing me and all over me bit that's as far as it went. We continued this for a fee more weeks until one night leaving the bar we crashed at a friends house where we had sex all night. She said she was in the process of leaving him but a few days later I asked to see her and she said no because she had alot of school work to do. So I go to the bar with my friends and who is there with another guy over 35?? You guessed it. She seen we and left. I then told her bf what was going on and I thought he should know. She changed her number and called me crying how im such an asshole and shed never do that and all im doing is trying to ruin her relationship. A week goes by and I get a call from her at the bar and she's like you prolly thought you weren't gonna and hear from me but I miss you. This is when I made the biggest mistake and went back to her. Fast forward to today and I've caught her in many lies most small some big and I've kept telling her lie again and I'm leaving you ( we live together) and id never leave. This past Thursday she came home drunk at 1am and she never did this so long story short I found out she got a 36 year old guys number and was texting and calling him all night until she got home. I know this because we have a cell phone plan together and I seen the call and texts and called the number and it was a guy and I said sorry wrong number. Now that I knew it was a guy I played dumb and said a friend of mine told me you're talking to some guy and she, like always said no are you crazy bla bla bla and I gave her every opportunity to tell me the truth and she wouldn't. Eventually she said yes she got his number because he gave it to her but when he left she thtew it away and then i told her that i had the bill and seen how she called him and she said oh only because he wanted to make sure i got home safe. Bit that was it and that she didnt remember texting him because she was drunk. Its all all lie and my problem is not seeing this is i always fall for her crying and begging and i hate to hurt anyone's feelings rather than my own feelings. What's the best thing to do? Thanks for taking the time to read my book lol thanks for the help.
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drunk, kissing, liar, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (15 November 2012):
 Good job getting out. Don't walk away... run... if you can't run, fly, or drive, or get a moped...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): She sounds like an absolute mess. I don't know what's going on her head drinking and hooking up with all these guys. Its not fair on you and where you're saying you don't wanna hurt her feelings well she doesn't care about hurting your feelings. She sounds awful, are they any things about her that you really like? Is it more of a lust thing than love? Because you could find a sweet girl your attracted to who wouldn't do this to you. Drunk at 1am on a thursday, she sounds like she's out of control.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): Dump. Her. Ass. She's a liar and a cheater. Her tears should mean nothing anymore. As I've heard many times, and it holds so true "its not what we say to those we claim to love that matters, its what we do." And her behavior shows she doesn't love you. You don't do that to someone you love. I know you don't like to hurt people, but she has absolutely no problem hurting you. Do yourself a favor and get out now. When you look back in 6 months to a year, you'll realize just how unhappy you really were. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (14 November 2012):
Run away. Fast. If you can't run, walk quickly, drive, or fly.
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A
male
reader, antlive647 +, writes (14 November 2012):
antlive647 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank everyone who took the time to reply. You are all so right and it is time I really leave this time. So far due hasn't texted me all day and I have to set up a time to get my stuff out of her house and im looking at a few apartments tomorrow. I always herd of stories like mine I just never had a woman like this. I told her if you're as sorry as you say and if you love me as much as you say then you wouldn't if done what you done. Its that simple. Now that im a little older I always say to myself if this was done to me how would I feel and that's helped me make alot better choices. Thanks again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): "I knew not to get involved from day one"
Best to get uninvolved now and ignore her. Don't listen to crying and begging.
At this point in time, your feelings should be given more credence. You ignored that very first feeling and see where it got you.
She can live with the consequences of her own behavior. You don't need to stick around to be her emotional fodder any longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): The best thing to do is leave. No need for a long drawn out advice. She repeatedly lied and you've caught her. Why stay and you know you don't trust her. Get some courage and do what you need to do for peace of mind. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, but in the end you will feel better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): "i always fall for her crying and begging and i hate to hurt anyone's feelings rather than my own feelings. What's the best thing to do?"Realize that you are NOT hurting her feelings, the crying and begging is all a lie and an act because she knows you "hate to hurt anyone's feelings rather than my own feelings" and therefore the conniving, heartless little female canine is shamelessly exploiting what you perceive to be nobility but she perceives as weakness on your part, and correctly so. She is hurting your feelings by constantly lying to you and SHE DOES NOT CARE because she knows all she has to do is turn on the waterworks and you'll cave in and take her back like the sap she thinks you are because you have given her no reason to believe otherwise.Oft-repeated advice to suckers like you: Stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your brain; she's thinking with her conniving, evil little mind knowing you're thinking with your dick. She is only taking advantage of you because you're letting her. She has your dick on a leash and your balls in a jar. Take them back.
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