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writes:i'm 16 and i need help. theres a girl at school that i cant stop thinking about and she has thought about me before but i dont know what to do because she's a good freind and i dont want to ruine that and i dont think she want's to either. please help me i'm drowning Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (14 December 2005):
 What makes you think that getting to know your friend better will "ruin" your friendship? Keep on treating her like a friend you don't want to lose, and no matter how it works out romantically, you can remain friends.
You don't have to change the way you act around her, just because you two might be interested in dating each other. You're already friends - what a great start! The best, longest-lasting relationships begin with actual friendship.
If it turns out that you don't really click as boyfriend-and-girlfriend, the fact that you already like and respect each other makes it simpler to be honest about it; there's actually *less* chance of ruining what you already have, as long as you continue to respect each other and be honest about your feelings - whatever they are.
Take a chance with her. If you know that she feels more-than-friends about you too, make a move. Ask her to join you for coffee or a movie or to a game.
Since you can't predict the future (and neither can I), you can't be sure how this might play out, but wouldn't you have rather "loved and lost" than never have taken the chance with someone you care about?
Go on! You know you want to...
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