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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is 18, I'm 17. I like her a great deal and would do anything to stay with her, but something that I keep being reminded of is the fact that I know I'm at least her sixth sexual partner. I'm not worried about diseases or anything, but the idea of her having sex with other people gets to me, possibly because she was my first, possibly because we're both still relatively young. Is there anything I can do that'll help me mind less about this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): You are experiencing these feelings because you fear not being sexually 'up to par'. This is your problem, dear..you own this one. If your gf been an trusting, honorable, loving, good person to you and is not complaining about your abilities in the sack-is thinking about this really worth the pain and sorrow it will cause, eventually? Stop dwelling on this and get ahold of your insecurities or this relationship will be dead in the water. You are making a clearcut 'choice' to think this way..so you control what your mind thinks and what it envisions. She cannot go back and change the past. She is totally helpless here and that's so unfair and immature of you to be doing this to her. I'm sure you want to keep this relationship growing and getting more wonderful. So--can you not just accept this, be proud, and be gracious to be sharing your time with this person. Only you can choose which way that will be the healthiest way to continue conducting your relationship. It takes an incredible trusting, loving relationship and confidence on the part of both people, to openly talk about past experiences and loves. Sometimes doing this, can be a great way for you to learn more about what pleases her. It gives you a sense about what she liked and didn´t like about her previous partners, what they did and didn´t do that made her happy. That's the upside to talking about past lovers. However, not everyone is that mature, open-minded to this type of dicussion. Way too much sexual details can be a bit overwhelming. It creates fears and anxieties in insecure people, like yourself. If you can't work this out..then cut her loose because your resentment, jealousies will just continue to fester and she doesn't deserve that. I wish you luck in making your decisions on what you want to do.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (10 August 2006):
 We all have different life experiences, would you be asking this question on her behalf if the tables were turned? NO! Get over it. It is all part of the wonderful tapestry called 'life'.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): Anonymous take a look at this question, I'm sure you will find some interesting points in the answers:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-cant-i-get-my-gfs-past-sex-life-out-of-my-head.html
All the best
Peter
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): Thanks guys, especially helpfulgirl. Pete, I can live with the fact that it's happened, but I just get reminded of it from time to time. Unclerich, it just kind of came up in a conversation. I'm not worried that I'm not satisfying her, although it does bug me that I might not be the best she's had, I think asking about this would make it worse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): It will probably always bother you, to some extent at least.
If you don't like it, there are millions of other girls out there with a past to more of your liking.
The choice is yours: either accept her past as part of who she is, or find someone else you can accept more easily.
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male
reader, unclerich +, writes (10 August 2006):
did u ask how many guys she had slept with??y does it get to u?shes with you!!!enjoy it while it lasts!ur both young u both got a lot to learn.r u worried that ur not satifising her?dont if she likes u she'll tell u what she like in the bedroom and what she doesn't.take time to explore her!!!and try not to worry she would feel the same if u ad 6 partners and u was her first.
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