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She's 11, and I'm 15! Is this age gap wrong?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2007)
A male Philippines age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi.. I'm 15 and I like this girl 5 years younger than me but she's about to turn 11. Well, I know that relationships with an age gap of even 10 years are often accepted, but still I can't seem to decide on what I should do. What I know is, we're still both minors. I can't stop thinking about her since the first time I saw her. It's like I saw something in her that I couldn't see in other girls.

I just need a straight answer, if having this age gap is right or not. Thanks a lot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007):

The age difference (4 years) is not a problem. The problem is that both of you are extremely young. Wait until she's sixteen or more.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2007):

Well, as you said your both minors so i dont see a serious problem. All you need to do is be friends first, and if she does want to go out with you then dont make any kind of move untill she is 16. As she is only 10/11, she wont be ready for that anyway. So be extemely careful as she is only a child. You will be 16 in the next year so be respectful and careful. Also, by time she is old enough to have sex you will be alot older and you may find someone your own age.

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A female reader, Confessions Of A Broken Heart Japan +, writes (28 July 2007):

Confessions Of A Broken Heart agony auntO.o Kay you ave crush you cant really date her think about it this way...Yu two want too go see a movie you want to watch a 15 and she cant even get in to a PG...Yu got to move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

I dont think its a great idea because shes 10 u r 15 thats not cool at all, shes still a chid and your a teenager. I know u like her an all but some people say age aint nothing but a number but its not right, u can still like her but be a friend and just move on find someone your age to date

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

Hey again I repeat I do not have any sexual attraction yet due to the fact that yeah, she's still a kid. I don't want to look at this in a sexual perspective. I just like her because of her attitude.

I also got a suggestion here that I should wait. And the one who suggested that is a person I really trust. So, uhh... yeah... I'm not yet fully interested in relationships anyway... I still have a lot of things to do, like study. Maybe I just got attracted by something, I can't really tell. Anyway, maybe things will change if I wait. Thanks for the comments and suggestions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

And, I'm not feeling any sexual attraction anyway, maybe because... yeah, she's not yet at that physical stage. It's just that I like her because of her attitude. That's all.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

Hmm, ok, I've been thinking about that too anyway... Maybe I'll wait a few years, when she's not a 'baby' anymore since from what I've heard, girls mature faster than boys. So yeah, I guess eyeswideopen's right. So ok, not now. :p

Thanks anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

I think you should wait for her to be at least 16. A 15 year old boy going out with an 11 year old girl is wrong. For starters you are at a completely different stage in puberty, and you propbably want to start experimenting sexually soon. If you started a relationship with her it might put pressure on her to go grow up too fast and start experimenting with sex which she really is too young for.

I know this is probably upsetting to hear as you like this girl, but there are plenty of other girls. If you are really meant to be together someday you will, but now isnt the right time.

Hope this helps

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

Some people will tell you it's right, some will tell you it's wrong.

How about you just see if you can get to know this girl as a friend first and see where things lead? If you do that I think you will feel whether or not it is right or not to pursue in to having some kind of relationship together.

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntShes 10 man! You may like her but in many ways she a kid and your becoming a man. Let her grow up first. Then you can go for her at a much later date. Or find someone your age

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (6 July 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntA 10 year old? Are you crazy? She's a baby! Leave her alone, how's that for a straight answer?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

Our little boy, try not to worry about it, you both are so young to think in relationships. While you are 15 you should enjoy life in the way you like it. Moreover she is only 11 years, we are sure she is not thinking about boys, but maybe she is thinking of sharing time with a good friend. In any case we think the most important is that you meet her well to know if she is your cup of tea. Do not think this kind of staff are good or bad,falling in love with someone does not involves ages, is about your real feelings.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (6 July 2007):

Having a 10 year age gap is sometimes accepted, and although the age gap between you and this girl is less, doesn't mean its ok. The thing is, shes 11, and generally speaking a 11 year old girl isnt at the same point in her life as a 15 year old boy. You both probably want different things, therefor making it hard to work. I would say try find someone closer to your age, because I think you will find that it wont work out well.

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