A
male
age
36-40,
*emanas
writes:My wife and I had talked about waiting to have kids for at least one more year. Well, on the day of love feb 14th she dropped the bomb on me that she was pregnant and that she went off birth control without telling me. She says she didn't think she would get pregnant and she was going to go back on birth control a month later. It crushed me, she lied to me and deceived me. Now we are going to have a kid but I am so angry and have a hard time forgiving her. Any comments are fine just would like to hear your opinion. thanks.
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male
reader, Justjase  +, writes (9 May 2018):
I had exactly the same thing happened to me 26 years ago, my daughter's mother deliberately stopped taking the pill yet maintained that she was still on it, she was three months pregnant when she dropped the news of her pregnancy. I was baffled, how could this be? the powerlessness I felt along with the betrayal and the humiliation have been reduced to a sperm donor whilst devastating. To say the least our relationsbip didn't last. however my daughter is undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't change it for the world. She has made me be become a better person despite her mother who even she has nothing to do more with anymore because of her selfishness and deviousness and lying. she really is not a nice person but I was young and in love. I do feel that women should be held to account when it comes to these things if a man rips takes off or sabotages Durex then they are demonized even prosecuted yet when a woman tricks a man into having a child before they're ready the old chestnut that you are responsible and should wear a Durex is sadly often the response.
A
male
reader, eliteartist +, writes (10 June 2009):
I always made sure that my girlfriend was still taking the pill, she always said yes. We were tested for STD's/HIV and are clean. We had unprotected sex for months and last week she told me she stopped taking the pill due to its side effects for the past month. She never told me and I am devastated since she may become pregnant. She deceived me, and I cannot forgive her. She knew this meant alot to me, I do not know which is worse her cheating on me with another man or doing this. She was trying to trap me. I always said that there are perks and quirks to be single and with dating. I love her and I despise her at the same time. Don't worry Bro, most of us men have to deal with this bullshit, but whatever you do, do not ever trust a woman fully until she has earned your trust. Most women are self-centered and screwed-up no matter how prestigious of a job they have or the accomplishments they have achieved. They are all professional on their jobs acting perfect yet when they arrive home they are complete f**k-ups!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Being pregnant does not mean you will have a kid. It takes nine months and anything can happen from now till then.
If it is her first time , she carries more risk of miscarriage.
Pray for her and the baby .The Lord has brought forward your baby plans. It is not easy to get pregnant.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (19 February 2008):
You may have a hard time forgiving her but when the baby comes into this world, you will forget all about it.
Babies are a blessings...
Whatever happens, you cannot change the course of history.If you cannot fight against it , better join her and be happy that you are blessed with a baby.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Women are such liars! You have been deceived and I can tell you this...she has no remorse, but will feel resentful because you are angry and should forgive her for her treachery. I feel sorry for you man! That is the reason why I haven't gotten married again and I'm against women living with me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Would you have been angry if she had waited that extra year, come off the pill and then....3 years later was still not pregnant?? Why don't you feel blessed that you have a child on the way?!!! This is more about the fact she didn't tell you so you feel hurt about the lack of honesty but a piece of advice - these things very often don't happen for a while for a woman and she had probably read about all this or taken advice. The pill can take a long time for some women to get out their system before everything is back to normal. So she could have felt that the pressure would be less if she started the ball rolling now. You are married. You had planned to have a child after one more year. Everyone I know who has children has said to me "there is never a 'right' time and you just have to get on with it". I hope when you see the scans and you start to engage in this wonderful time the shock will be replaced with the deep desire and thrill to be a father. Your child will want to know they were truly wanted and not an inconvenience - and lets face it... you can rarely make an appointment for these things or put it in your diary. Please dig deep and change your mindset.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): I can understand your pain right now, and it was naughty of her to do that to you BUT you are going to have a child together, so put all of this anger out of the window now. Please dont hold it against her. I know how she must of felt, to discover that your pregnant can be quite a shock especially if she just came off the pill. She was probably dreading telling you, so come on, put it behind you and enjoy the pregnancy and the lovely child you will have in the future, besides it is only one year earlier. You are lucky, my niece cant have kids due to a medical problem, so embrace the whole thing with love. She told you on the day of love, so let it be. No more pain, only love.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): I really don't think this was right of her. I mean, if she didn't plan on pregnancy, why stop using birth control? If she really wanted a child, I think she should have told you and you could have talked about it, and made love in a romantic way, knowing that a child was being concieved. I'm sorry to hear you're in a situation like this, it wasn't fair on you. But I'm sure in time you can forgive her for her mistakes, everyone makes them, just some feel much bigger than others. But whatever happens between you two, I hope you have an amazing life with your child and a great future with your wife :] good luck with everything.
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